Luke 22:31-32; "31 And the Lord said, “Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”
I was talking with my good friend, Stephen, today.
We talked about how beat up we were.
It feels like our hearts were trampled on by "one too many buffalo" as he put it.
I remembered this verse from Luke, chapter 22.
Satan demanded to sift Peter like wheat.
The process for sifting wheat was this: throw the wheat against the cement and beat the hell out of it with a flail.
During times, it feels like my heart is being sifted- like wheat.
Its hurt by myself: my failures.
Its hurt by others: their actions and words.
Its hurt because of what I've done: breaking other peoples hearts- breaking my Gods heart.
Every failure I've made.
Every rude comment given to me.
Every despicable act of aggression against me.
Every time I've hurt someone else has been a blow to my heart from the flail.
Often times this heart begins to be too much.
It hurts too often.
I've cried more times than I care to remember.
I've felt the burning fire of anger towards situations that I would normally find acceptable or tolerable.
I've felt the anguish of a loss of a friends fire for God because of lukewarmness.
I've been kicked in the stomach emotionally and balled my eyes out for the body of Christ.
I've never felt the depths of emotion as much as I have while being in this relationship with God.
I've asked prayed Jesus' prayer from the garden on more than one occasion.
Its so hard to deal with this kind of heart: the kind of heart that's made of paper and bleeds like a anemic.
“Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.”
Through it all, however, I have always prayed to have Gods heart. I realize, now, that He's taken me very literally. My heart is so softened by this process of threshing. I'm beginning to feel what God feels.
I am beginning to love what He loves. I'm beginning to understand.
I understand that by this softening, my heart is growing stronger.
I'm being refined.
Refinement is never comfortable.
Never.
After Jesus finished that prayer to his Father, it says: "an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. 44 And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground".
He strengthens us when we ask Him.
But why does He strengthen us?
To help us pray more fervently.
I love Batman.
In the movie, Bruce Wayne's father asks Bruce a question: why do we fall?
He answers: so we can learn to pick ourselves back up.
I think I'm starting to hear God ask me a similar question: when you are weak, why should you pray for strength?
It is so you can learn to pray more fervently.
Satan demanded to sift us like wheat- but Jesus prayed for me.
His offer was better.
His offer wins.
His offer strengthens me.
I know this heart is problematic at times.
I know my heart gets lonely.
I know my heart gets pounded.
I know my heart is a mess.
But I know my heart reflects a lot of what Gods heart does.
If being pounded into the dust is part of being built up, then I think its worth it.
I just want to see His face.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
50th post: Grace. Love. Friends. V Necks.
Earlier this week I was spending time with my friends.
(I think its important to note, before I ramble, that I love them dearly).
We talked about grace and what it meant to us.
We discussed songs about grace- how beautiful it is and how amazing it feels when it is extended to us.
We prayed and laughed and were captivated by the awe of it all.
We were all agreed, at the end of it all, that Grace is a free gift, we don't deserve it, but, its extended to us- there is nothing we can do to earn it.
When I was younger I used to think of grace as this big cover up.
Grace was white out.
Because of it, sin was no longer visible; therefore, it wasn't there anymore.
Grace was an everlasting game of "peek-a-boo".
I definitely know grace to be part of something larger now.
It doesn't just give the illusion of purity, it cleanses us, making us the embodiment of purity.
It is a bath.
It is a shower.
It is a pressure washer.
It is a hurricane.
Not only does grace wash our sin away, it empowers us to live lives holy and pleasing to the Lord.
It fills us with a strength.
Grace isn't weak.
It is power.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness".
Grace.
Power.
Ravi Zacharias stated that purity isn't just the absence of something, it is the presence of another.
Purity isn't only the absence of sin, its the presence of the Lords grace in our lives.
"For by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is a gift from God. Not a result of works so no one can boast".
My friends and I were discussing grace, we talked about how, at times, we find ourselves working ourselves to death to try to earn grace.
By no means was this a conscious effort on our parts- it was just something we observed in retrospect.
We justify working 70 work weeks, going to two bible studies, mentoring people, and getting little no sleep, all for the sake of not "feeling lazy".
We somehow think that by exhausting and overextending ourselves that we are bringing God glory.
We get this sick idea that neglecting our basic needs for adequate food and rest we are making God happy.
A parent doesn't delight in the suffering of their child, nor does a parent like it when a child feels they have to repay every act of kindness as if they are indebted to them.
It can turn into a giant, "who can give more" competition. All the parent wanted to do in the first place was to bless their child because they love them.
God loved us so much, that He sent His son to die for us so He could dwell in us and LOVE us.
When we work for grace, we're putting a price on Christs crucifixion, and cheapening the cross.
I found something equally disgusting in my own life.
I found that, at times, I feel entitled to Gods grace.
I justify not working hard at all.
I justify being lazy.
I justify failure by saying: "God will forgive me"; "God is good".
I wanted to vomit when I realized that my heart of hearts thinks this way.
How sick of me to think that I don't have to work out my salvation with "fear and trembling".
By not working, I cheapen the cross as well.
I take the cross for granted.
I don't value it as something to be treated with reverence.
I treat His grace as common.
I think I deserve His grace.
I deserve the grave.
But He still died for me.
He Loves me.
Both of these issues- entitlement, and enslavement, are sinful.
They are prideful.
One says: I can earn it.
One says: He owes it to me.
A lot of the Christian walk, I'm finding, is a balance between two extremes: foolishness, and cowardice.
Foolishness is taking the cross for granted because we think its owed to us.
Cowardice is avoiding it by thinking we don't deserve it.
I think Paul puts it beautifully.
"I die daily".
Christ says it as well.
"Deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me".
It is just that.
Die to yourself.
Live as Christ.
The yoke is not too much to bear.
It is not easy though.
It is shared.
It isn't about us anymore.
We failed.
The wages of sin is death.
But.
The gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.
Accept it.
Work out our salvation with fear and trembling while walking with the comfort of the Holy Ghost.
Please, don't forget though. He gave us grace because He loved us so.
I think of "Where the Wild Things Are".
In the movie, regardless of what you thought of it, one of the monsters hugs Max with Love and says "I'll eat you up I love you so".
I think that's beautiful.
I just feel the warmth of those words.
Its just me, I'm sure.
But,
God gave us grace because He loved us so.
"I'll forgive you of your sins because I love you".
"I died for you, I love you so".
That's just beautiful to me.
Don't think I have it figured out, please.
I just thought you should know whats on my heart.
I don't know an awful lot at all.
But I do write a lot.
I also wear tons of V necks.
But you probably already knew that.
"Philipians 3:12-14: 12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus".
Hope you're encouraged.
I love you tons.
-Josh
(I think its important to note, before I ramble, that I love them dearly).
We talked about grace and what it meant to us.
We discussed songs about grace- how beautiful it is and how amazing it feels when it is extended to us.
We prayed and laughed and were captivated by the awe of it all.
We were all agreed, at the end of it all, that Grace is a free gift, we don't deserve it, but, its extended to us- there is nothing we can do to earn it.
When I was younger I used to think of grace as this big cover up.
Grace was white out.
Because of it, sin was no longer visible; therefore, it wasn't there anymore.
Grace was an everlasting game of "peek-a-boo".
I definitely know grace to be part of something larger now.
It doesn't just give the illusion of purity, it cleanses us, making us the embodiment of purity.
It is a bath.
It is a shower.
It is a pressure washer.
It is a hurricane.
Not only does grace wash our sin away, it empowers us to live lives holy and pleasing to the Lord.
It fills us with a strength.
Grace isn't weak.
It is power.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness".
Grace.
Power.
Ravi Zacharias stated that purity isn't just the absence of something, it is the presence of another.
Purity isn't only the absence of sin, its the presence of the Lords grace in our lives.
"For by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is a gift from God. Not a result of works so no one can boast".
My friends and I were discussing grace, we talked about how, at times, we find ourselves working ourselves to death to try to earn grace.
By no means was this a conscious effort on our parts- it was just something we observed in retrospect.
We justify working 70 work weeks, going to two bible studies, mentoring people, and getting little no sleep, all for the sake of not "feeling lazy".
We somehow think that by exhausting and overextending ourselves that we are bringing God glory.
We get this sick idea that neglecting our basic needs for adequate food and rest we are making God happy.
A parent doesn't delight in the suffering of their child, nor does a parent like it when a child feels they have to repay every act of kindness as if they are indebted to them.
It can turn into a giant, "who can give more" competition. All the parent wanted to do in the first place was to bless their child because they love them.
God loved us so much, that He sent His son to die for us so He could dwell in us and LOVE us.
When we work for grace, we're putting a price on Christs crucifixion, and cheapening the cross.
I found something equally disgusting in my own life.
I found that, at times, I feel entitled to Gods grace.
I justify not working hard at all.
I justify being lazy.
I justify failure by saying: "God will forgive me"; "God is good".
I wanted to vomit when I realized that my heart of hearts thinks this way.
How sick of me to think that I don't have to work out my salvation with "fear and trembling".
By not working, I cheapen the cross as well.
I take the cross for granted.
I don't value it as something to be treated with reverence.
I treat His grace as common.
I think I deserve His grace.
I deserve the grave.
But He still died for me.
He Loves me.
Both of these issues- entitlement, and enslavement, are sinful.
They are prideful.
One says: I can earn it.
One says: He owes it to me.
A lot of the Christian walk, I'm finding, is a balance between two extremes: foolishness, and cowardice.
Foolishness is taking the cross for granted because we think its owed to us.
Cowardice is avoiding it by thinking we don't deserve it.
I think Paul puts it beautifully.
"I die daily".
Christ says it as well.
"Deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me".
It is just that.
Die to yourself.
Live as Christ.
The yoke is not too much to bear.
It is not easy though.
It is shared.
It isn't about us anymore.
We failed.
The wages of sin is death.
But.
The gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.
Accept it.
Work out our salvation with fear and trembling while walking with the comfort of the Holy Ghost.
Please, don't forget though. He gave us grace because He loved us so.
I think of "Where the Wild Things Are".
In the movie, regardless of what you thought of it, one of the monsters hugs Max with Love and says "I'll eat you up I love you so".
I think that's beautiful.
I just feel the warmth of those words.
Its just me, I'm sure.
But,
God gave us grace because He loved us so.
"I'll forgive you of your sins because I love you".
"I died for you, I love you so".
That's just beautiful to me.
Don't think I have it figured out, please.
I just thought you should know whats on my heart.
I don't know an awful lot at all.
But I do write a lot.
I also wear tons of V necks.
But you probably already knew that.
"Philipians 3:12-14: 12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus".
Hope you're encouraged.
I love you tons.
-Josh
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
With Everything
What good is a hero to a person who doesn’t need to be saved?
If we choose to reject our savior, why do we need to worship?
What is our purpose in life? Is it not to worship our savior and creator: the One who loves us so?
I remember when I decided to follow Jesus’ ways; to be in a relationship with Him.
I remember He spoke to me; He said: Josh, I’ve created you for bigger things- great things. Amazing works. What are you doing?
Those are the words of a loving Father to His son.
I broke down.
I said “use me; I’ll move where You move. I want to love what You love and hate what You hate”.
It says as Samuel grew with the Lord, the Lord never let Samuels words fall to the ground.
Samuel dwelled in constant intimacy with the Love of his life.
How many times have I failed?
How many words have I let hit the floor?
How many times have I taken the Love of the Lord for granted?
I used to dwell in despair for days at a time when I stumbled. I’d fall on my face and weep for breaking the heart of my God. Then I remembered His grace.
You see, His grace washed our sin away a long time ago.
That’s why Jesus came.
He lived to die.
He didn’t come to make bad people good; He came to make dead people live.
He didn’t come to set an impossible bar for us to strive for; He came to make sure we could obtain intimacy with the One who loves us so.
“He to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood”.
“Because a sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free”.
“I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us”.
I remember I struggled with worship for a while.
I used to think that I didn’t get a whole lot out of it.
I realize now that when I had that egocentric mindset, God didn’t get a whole lot out of my worship.
What good is worship if we don’t know what we’re doing?
Why do we need to worship someone we don’t really think we need in the first place?
I’m sorry God, that I was so arrogant and selfish.
Forgive me.
I know now that the worship I do, isn’t because I want to get something out of it.
Worship is necessary because I’m so thankful for what You’ve done in my life.
Sometimes I think we make worship about us.
I think when we do that we let our words fall to the floor.
We need a savior.
We have one.
When we realize what He’s done for us, that’s when worshiping in spirit and truth happens.
We realize where we could have been, where we could have ended up: eternal separation from Love.
We are thankful for our Hero.
We praise the One who paid our debt and raised our lives up from the dead.
He is worthy of our praise.
With everything we will shout for Your glory.
With everything we will shout forth Your praise.
We have reason to worship, brothers and sisters.
We have reason to worship, Always.
I hope you’re encouraged.
I love you all.
-Josh
If we choose to reject our savior, why do we need to worship?
What is our purpose in life? Is it not to worship our savior and creator: the One who loves us so?
I remember when I decided to follow Jesus’ ways; to be in a relationship with Him.
I remember He spoke to me; He said: Josh, I’ve created you for bigger things- great things. Amazing works. What are you doing?
Those are the words of a loving Father to His son.
I broke down.
I said “use me; I’ll move where You move. I want to love what You love and hate what You hate”.
It says as Samuel grew with the Lord, the Lord never let Samuels words fall to the ground.
Samuel dwelled in constant intimacy with the Love of his life.
How many times have I failed?
How many words have I let hit the floor?
How many times have I taken the Love of the Lord for granted?
I used to dwell in despair for days at a time when I stumbled. I’d fall on my face and weep for breaking the heart of my God. Then I remembered His grace.
You see, His grace washed our sin away a long time ago.
That’s why Jesus came.
He lived to die.
He didn’t come to make bad people good; He came to make dead people live.
He didn’t come to set an impossible bar for us to strive for; He came to make sure we could obtain intimacy with the One who loves us so.
“He to rescue me from danger interposed His precious blood”.
“Because a sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free”.
“I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us”.
I remember I struggled with worship for a while.
I used to think that I didn’t get a whole lot out of it.
I realize now that when I had that egocentric mindset, God didn’t get a whole lot out of my worship.
What good is worship if we don’t know what we’re doing?
Why do we need to worship someone we don’t really think we need in the first place?
I’m sorry God, that I was so arrogant and selfish.
Forgive me.
I know now that the worship I do, isn’t because I want to get something out of it.
Worship is necessary because I’m so thankful for what You’ve done in my life.
Sometimes I think we make worship about us.
I think when we do that we let our words fall to the floor.
We need a savior.
We have one.
When we realize what He’s done for us, that’s when worshiping in spirit and truth happens.
We realize where we could have been, where we could have ended up: eternal separation from Love.
We are thankful for our Hero.
We praise the One who paid our debt and raised our lives up from the dead.
He is worthy of our praise.
With everything we will shout for Your glory.
With everything we will shout forth Your praise.
We have reason to worship, brothers and sisters.
We have reason to worship, Always.
I hope you’re encouraged.
I love you all.
-Josh
10,000
This morning I woke up and felt like I was not fit to call myself a Christian.
I felt woke up feeling downcast and as a failure.
I was freaking out.
I was freaking out because the night before I had been in Love with God and when I rose from my bed, the Love was gone.
I was reminded of everything that I had done in my past.
I was reminded of my failures.
I was reminded of how unfaithful I have been to Him in the past.
Then I was set straight.
I was reminded that I've overcome that.
By the blood of a Son.
God Loves me, and will ALWAYS love me, because my Jesus died, and is not sitting right next to His Father in Heaven telling His Father that I'm His.
Last night I heard this song, called Ten Thousand.
The entire song is gold, but the chorus is extremely profound.
I shouted this out loud on my knees this morning, in my truck, in the parking lot outside the place I work.
World, I've overcome you. I've overcome you, satan. I've overcome you, with the blood of a Son, who ever lives and pleads for me.
I realized, and was reminded of how much my God loves me. He loves me enough to humble, to dwell with me in intimacy. To lift me up and be with me, despite what I've done.
He's forgotten.
He overcame the world with the blood of His Son.
I'm reminded of "Before the Throne":
When satan tries to tempt me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within
upward I look and see Him there
who made an end of all my
Because a sinless Savior died
my sinful soul, is counted free
for God the Just is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me...
To quote Jesus: It is FINISHED
My sin has come to an end.
I am no longer a slave to the flesh.
I am a slave to righteousness.
I do not belong to satan.
I am my Beloveds,
my Beloved is mine.
His banner over me is love.
I've overcome you world.
I've overcome you...
Amen.
(here's the song)
Then Thousand.
Ten thousand glimmering like coals in our chest
Ball bearings drawn to the magnetic breath
Of ten thousand weeping with wings on their tears
Amidst ten thousand voices for ten thousand years
For ten thousand graves yawning unlocked and unlatched
Now ten thousand holes with rocks on their backs
Ten thousand tombs gaping wide singing the praise
Of ten thousand bodies unlaced and unlaid
As the ten thousand highways unfold their doors
For the ten thousand standing on Nineveh's shores
Where the blood of a husband silences wars
For the girl who rises to meet him
And she sings
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome
By my song and the blood of a son
Ten thousand rivers
Run red like my veins
Where the bones of men hum
Like a rattling cage
For sinew to cling to
For wind to remain
In ten thousand lungs
For ten thousand days
Breathing like a choir
Of holes in the ground
Where the cynical have lain
Where the cynical go down
Save the gravity of time
Lets go of her drowned
Like ten thousand sparrows
Unlocked and unwound
As the ten thousand highways unfold their doors
For the ten thousand standing on Nineveh's shores
Where the blood of a husband silences wars
For the girl who rises to meet him
And she sings
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome
By my song and the blood of a son
I felt woke up feeling downcast and as a failure.
I was freaking out.
I was freaking out because the night before I had been in Love with God and when I rose from my bed, the Love was gone.
I was reminded of everything that I had done in my past.
I was reminded of my failures.
I was reminded of how unfaithful I have been to Him in the past.
Then I was set straight.
I was reminded that I've overcome that.
By the blood of a Son.
God Loves me, and will ALWAYS love me, because my Jesus died, and is not sitting right next to His Father in Heaven telling His Father that I'm His.
Last night I heard this song, called Ten Thousand.
The entire song is gold, but the chorus is extremely profound.
I shouted this out loud on my knees this morning, in my truck, in the parking lot outside the place I work.
World, I've overcome you. I've overcome you, satan. I've overcome you, with the blood of a Son, who ever lives and pleads for me.
I realized, and was reminded of how much my God loves me. He loves me enough to humble, to dwell with me in intimacy. To lift me up and be with me, despite what I've done.
He's forgotten.
He overcame the world with the blood of His Son.
I'm reminded of "Before the Throne":
When satan tries to tempt me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within
upward I look and see Him there
who made an end of all my
Because a sinless Savior died
my sinful soul, is counted free
for God the Just is satisfied
to look on Him and pardon me...
To quote Jesus: It is FINISHED
My sin has come to an end.
I am no longer a slave to the flesh.
I am a slave to righteousness.
I do not belong to satan.
I am my Beloveds,
my Beloved is mine.
His banner over me is love.
I've overcome you world.
I've overcome you...
Amen.
(here's the song)
Then Thousand.
Ten thousand glimmering like coals in our chest
Ball bearings drawn to the magnetic breath
Of ten thousand weeping with wings on their tears
Amidst ten thousand voices for ten thousand years
For ten thousand graves yawning unlocked and unlatched
Now ten thousand holes with rocks on their backs
Ten thousand tombs gaping wide singing the praise
Of ten thousand bodies unlaced and unlaid
As the ten thousand highways unfold their doors
For the ten thousand standing on Nineveh's shores
Where the blood of a husband silences wars
For the girl who rises to meet him
And she sings
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome
By my song and the blood of a son
Ten thousand rivers
Run red like my veins
Where the bones of men hum
Like a rattling cage
For sinew to cling to
For wind to remain
In ten thousand lungs
For ten thousand days
Breathing like a choir
Of holes in the ground
Where the cynical have lain
Where the cynical go down
Save the gravity of time
Lets go of her drowned
Like ten thousand sparrows
Unlocked and unwound
As the ten thousand highways unfold their doors
For the ten thousand standing on Nineveh's shores
Where the blood of a husband silences wars
For the girl who rises to meet him
And she sings
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome you
World, I have overcome
By my song and the blood of a son
Humility
In the last four months God's taken a sledgehammer to my pride; I sure hope He keeps swinging- I hated that monumental failure anyways.
We are what we sing.
The words that we say, the sentences that pass through our minds, and pictures that run past our eyes.
The thoughts that race across our mind and the way we hold ourselves.
What is the song of our life and what does it sound like?
We kid ourselves when we say that the music we listen to, the clothes we wear, the people we hang out with, and the environments we find ourselves don't affect who we are and our walk with God.
If I was married and told my wife that it didn't matter if I was hanging out with other women all the time and devoting my time to them rather than her, she'd be devastated (at least).
This is what I've learned: our pride gets in the way, and God out of jealous love, destroys all that gets in between Himself and His beloved.
That is, if His beloved asks for it.
I asked for Him- He pulled out a sledgehammer.
Our pride gets in the way of humility, if fact, they are the antithesis of each other.
When pride is erased, or destroyed, humility can have its rightful place and intimacy can ensue.
Thank God for being jealous. I'm so happy our God loves us enough to destroy the competition.
He could just eat us up He loves us so...
Here are some lyrics to ponder on, these have been soaking in my brain.
We are what we sing:
"So, in this hour, let everything I do, all for this moment, everything's for You; my heart is open- it will end...so please take my life and use it- I'm ready"
"World, I've overcome you by my song and the blood of a Son"
"Here I am Dear Lord tasting hints of fame, I don't want it anymore if its not You that I gain; I want to fall at Your feet, I don't want to fall out of Your peace. I understand"
"Oh let us adore the Son of Glory dressed in Love; open up your gates before Him: crown Him, stand Him up"
"Open our Open our hearts, To see the things That make Your heart cry, To be the church The You would desire. A light to be seen"
"Break down our pride and the walls we've built up inside; our earthly crowns and all our desires- we lay down at Your feet"
"With everything we will shout for Your glory; with everything we will shout forth Your praise"
"Oh to grace how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be and let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee; prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above".
A lot of these deal with intimacy and love that only comes after a lot of honesty and pride demolishing.
I do not claim to have laid hold of humility yet, but I promise you, that God is hitting hard.
I love Him so much though.
Be in prayer for me as I keep going through this humbling phase, and I hope this forces some of us to be more honest with ourselves and our pride...
I love you all.
-Josh
We are what we sing.
The words that we say, the sentences that pass through our minds, and pictures that run past our eyes.
The thoughts that race across our mind and the way we hold ourselves.
What is the song of our life and what does it sound like?
We kid ourselves when we say that the music we listen to, the clothes we wear, the people we hang out with, and the environments we find ourselves don't affect who we are and our walk with God.
If I was married and told my wife that it didn't matter if I was hanging out with other women all the time and devoting my time to them rather than her, she'd be devastated (at least).
This is what I've learned: our pride gets in the way, and God out of jealous love, destroys all that gets in between Himself and His beloved.
That is, if His beloved asks for it.
I asked for Him- He pulled out a sledgehammer.
Our pride gets in the way of humility, if fact, they are the antithesis of each other.
When pride is erased, or destroyed, humility can have its rightful place and intimacy can ensue.
Thank God for being jealous. I'm so happy our God loves us enough to destroy the competition.
He could just eat us up He loves us so...
Here are some lyrics to ponder on, these have been soaking in my brain.
We are what we sing:
"So, in this hour, let everything I do, all for this moment, everything's for You; my heart is open- it will end...so please take my life and use it- I'm ready"
"World, I've overcome you by my song and the blood of a Son"
"Here I am Dear Lord tasting hints of fame, I don't want it anymore if its not You that I gain; I want to fall at Your feet, I don't want to fall out of Your peace. I understand"
"Oh let us adore the Son of Glory dressed in Love; open up your gates before Him: crown Him, stand Him up"
"Open our Open our hearts, To see the things That make Your heart cry, To be the church The You would desire. A light to be seen"
"Break down our pride and the walls we've built up inside; our earthly crowns and all our desires- we lay down at Your feet"
"With everything we will shout for Your glory; with everything we will shout forth Your praise"
"Oh to grace how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be and let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee; prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above".
A lot of these deal with intimacy and love that only comes after a lot of honesty and pride demolishing.
I do not claim to have laid hold of humility yet, but I promise you, that God is hitting hard.
I love Him so much though.
Be in prayer for me as I keep going through this humbling phase, and I hope this forces some of us to be more honest with ourselves and our pride...
I love you all.
-Josh
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Son of David, don't pass me by
I find it hard to comprehend the Love that God has for us.
I'm so very rocked by it all.
Why would God send His son. His only son, to die for us?
How can anyone, or anything love so much?
He is patient, kind; not arrogant, rude, boastful, envious or stubborn.
He is not irritable, resentful, or happy when crap happens.
He loves truth.
He bears, believes, hopes, and endures everything.
He sacrificed everything He had for us.
He sacrificed His son.
We were a treasure in a field that He gave His most prized possession for.
He sold it all, to be alone with us.
To have intimacy with us.
We wonder if He loves us.
Ya.
He loves us.
But we treat Him like crap.
We treat Him like hes not a destination.
We treat Him like Hes a stop along the way in our life.
We sin.
We blaspheme the name of God.
We slap God in the face with our words, and our actions.
We question if the kingdom is really worth sacrificing the comfort of our money, our jobs, our friendships, our lust, our material possessions, our sin.
We wonder if its even worth it.
It is the Kingdom of Heaven that we are buying.
That is the treasure that we seek.
Intimacy with the Creator of the Universe.
Its not Lakers season tickets versus a Porsche.
Its not an iPod versus a cell phone.
Its not money versus fame.
Its us giving our ashes for the God of the Universe.
We are comparing sacrificing mortal life for eternal intimacy.
How stupid.
We are so stupid.
To think.
He was complete in and of Himself.
Father, Spirit, Son.
He, out of the kindness of His heart because He wanted to LOVE.
HE LOVED US ENOUGH TO CREATE US.
Then we sinned.
He created the mosaic law to give people a chance to be in eternity with Him.
We turned the law into a joke.
He sent His son to die for us in our place.
Just.
to.
be.
with.
us.
We are treating that like its common.
We are lukewarm.
We don't care about God.
We don't care about His son.
We are the branches correct?
If He is Love, and we act unloving, aren't we a living contradiction?
We are blaspheming the name of God by not being loving.
All He asked is that we deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him.
We sell all that we have, and pursue relentlessly after the treasure that is God.
Along the way, we'll store up treasures in heaven.
But God.
I don't care if its a penny in heaven.
As long as I'm with you, God, I'm happy.
I'm satisfied.
Oh God forgive us.
Forgive me.
I've forgotten what you did for me.
I've been rotten.
I'm so undeserving of this great love You have for me.
Thank you for Your love.
Teach me how to love.
Romans 8:20-39
Hebrews 12
1 Corinthians 13
I'm so very rocked by it all.
Why would God send His son. His only son, to die for us?
How can anyone, or anything love so much?
He is patient, kind; not arrogant, rude, boastful, envious or stubborn.
He is not irritable, resentful, or happy when crap happens.
He loves truth.
He bears, believes, hopes, and endures everything.
He sacrificed everything He had for us.
He sacrificed His son.
We were a treasure in a field that He gave His most prized possession for.
He sold it all, to be alone with us.
To have intimacy with us.
We wonder if He loves us.
Ya.
He loves us.
But we treat Him like crap.
We treat Him like hes not a destination.
We treat Him like Hes a stop along the way in our life.
We sin.
We blaspheme the name of God.
We slap God in the face with our words, and our actions.
We question if the kingdom is really worth sacrificing the comfort of our money, our jobs, our friendships, our lust, our material possessions, our sin.
We wonder if its even worth it.
It is the Kingdom of Heaven that we are buying.
That is the treasure that we seek.
Intimacy with the Creator of the Universe.
Its not Lakers season tickets versus a Porsche.
Its not an iPod versus a cell phone.
Its not money versus fame.
Its us giving our ashes for the God of the Universe.
We are comparing sacrificing mortal life for eternal intimacy.
How stupid.
We are so stupid.
To think.
He was complete in and of Himself.
Father, Spirit, Son.
He, out of the kindness of His heart because He wanted to LOVE.
HE LOVED US ENOUGH TO CREATE US.
Then we sinned.
He created the mosaic law to give people a chance to be in eternity with Him.
We turned the law into a joke.
He sent His son to die for us in our place.
Just.
to.
be.
with.
us.
We are treating that like its common.
We are lukewarm.
We don't care about God.
We don't care about His son.
We are the branches correct?
If He is Love, and we act unloving, aren't we a living contradiction?
We are blaspheming the name of God by not being loving.
All He asked is that we deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him.
We sell all that we have, and pursue relentlessly after the treasure that is God.
Along the way, we'll store up treasures in heaven.
But God.
I don't care if its a penny in heaven.
As long as I'm with you, God, I'm happy.
I'm satisfied.
Oh God forgive us.
Forgive me.
I've forgotten what you did for me.
I've been rotten.
I'm so undeserving of this great love You have for me.
Thank you for Your love.
Teach me how to love.
Romans 8:20-39
Hebrews 12
1 Corinthians 13
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Rain Down
What would it be like if Gods glory fell on us like a storm: raining down and flooding the dry dust of our hearts with holy fire? What would that look like?
I think it would look like romantic Love.
Lately, Gods been guiding me through lessons in Love.
What is Love?
Love is God.
God is Love.
He's helping me get to know Him more and more.
One thing He's been showing me is that Love is commitment, not emotion.
Emotion comes from it, but it is not the definition of Love. Emotion is temporary, Love is eternal. That is not to say that emotion is bad; of course it is not. Often times, our relationships with God have been started out of a very emotion state; He stoops down from heaven and woos us up to Himself. He wins our hearts with romance.
But, eventually, like most successful relationships, the Love grows: matures. Love doesn't become "how can You make me happy"; Love becomes "how can I make you happy". Love doesn't become "I'll stay committed to You when You make me feel the same way I felt when I met You"; Love becomes "I'll stay with You even when I don't feel like it, because I'm committed".
John 15:13 says that "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends".
God stayed committed to His people, whom He loved. Not to the point of laying down His own life. No. That would be too easy. He stayed committed to us to the point of laying down the life of His only son, Jesus Christ. Christs blood rained down to the ground, full of life and redemption. His blood pours over our bodies, fills our veins, and covers us; it makes us acceptable in Gods eyes. He sees Christs blood in us and takes us in as sons. Adopted. We are His children, and He is our Father.
We were Isaak, about to be sacrificed, and Jesus was our perfect lamb, slain in our place, who's blood is the payment for our ransom of sin. God provided the perfect lamb.
That is Love.
Love is when the person we care about becomes more important than ourselves.
That is Love.
Love is when we can look a person in the eyes, and they can stare back into ours, and see the reflection of God in our eyes. Then, with every thing we have say, I, Christ in me, Love you, and would gladly lay down my life for you. They wouldn't just see that a person, a mortal human would lay down their life. They would see God saying that too them. Not only that, but they would see Jesus saying that.
Hell.
Jesus already did that.
I hear people say "I love you", now, and I don't think they realize what they're saying. We do this so often. We really might as well say "I emotion you", or "I care about you as long as you make me feel this way".
What if God had done that.
God would have ditched us in the deserts of the Middle East.
God would have left us after His son was crucified.
No, God didn't just emotion us, God Loved us. God committed Himself to us.
It says so many numerous times that we will be His, and He will be ours.
It does not say "I will Love you, my people, if you worship me".
No.
It is a promise.
It is absolute.
God deals with the eternal, and temporary things flow from it.
For all good and perfect things come from Him.
Including Love; after all, He is Love. Love is eternal.
I'll end with the last thing I heard from God before He continued to test me.
He said "just because you don't feel Me, does not mean that I am not there. Just because you don't feel My Love, doesn't nullify my Love. Feelings don't affect my Love and commitment, just like your sin doesn't affect My goodness. I Love you, Joshua".
I hope this encourages you to ask God to rain down His glory, to flood the dust of our lives with Holy fire so that we can Love as God Loved us. To be perfect as He, our Father, is perfect.
I Love you,
-Josh
I think it would look like romantic Love.
Lately, Gods been guiding me through lessons in Love.
What is Love?
Love is God.
God is Love.
He's helping me get to know Him more and more.
One thing He's been showing me is that Love is commitment, not emotion.
Emotion comes from it, but it is not the definition of Love. Emotion is temporary, Love is eternal. That is not to say that emotion is bad; of course it is not. Often times, our relationships with God have been started out of a very emotion state; He stoops down from heaven and woos us up to Himself. He wins our hearts with romance.
But, eventually, like most successful relationships, the Love grows: matures. Love doesn't become "how can You make me happy"; Love becomes "how can I make you happy". Love doesn't become "I'll stay committed to You when You make me feel the same way I felt when I met You"; Love becomes "I'll stay with You even when I don't feel like it, because I'm committed".
John 15:13 says that "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends".
God stayed committed to His people, whom He loved. Not to the point of laying down His own life. No. That would be too easy. He stayed committed to us to the point of laying down the life of His only son, Jesus Christ. Christs blood rained down to the ground, full of life and redemption. His blood pours over our bodies, fills our veins, and covers us; it makes us acceptable in Gods eyes. He sees Christs blood in us and takes us in as sons. Adopted. We are His children, and He is our Father.
We were Isaak, about to be sacrificed, and Jesus was our perfect lamb, slain in our place, who's blood is the payment for our ransom of sin. God provided the perfect lamb.
That is Love.
Love is when the person we care about becomes more important than ourselves.
That is Love.
Love is when we can look a person in the eyes, and they can stare back into ours, and see the reflection of God in our eyes. Then, with every thing we have say, I, Christ in me, Love you, and would gladly lay down my life for you. They wouldn't just see that a person, a mortal human would lay down their life. They would see God saying that too them. Not only that, but they would see Jesus saying that.
Hell.
Jesus already did that.
I hear people say "I love you", now, and I don't think they realize what they're saying. We do this so often. We really might as well say "I emotion you", or "I care about you as long as you make me feel this way".
What if God had done that.
God would have ditched us in the deserts of the Middle East.
God would have left us after His son was crucified.
No, God didn't just emotion us, God Loved us. God committed Himself to us.
It says so many numerous times that we will be His, and He will be ours.
It does not say "I will Love you, my people, if you worship me".
No.
It is a promise.
It is absolute.
God deals with the eternal, and temporary things flow from it.
For all good and perfect things come from Him.
Including Love; after all, He is Love. Love is eternal.
I'll end with the last thing I heard from God before He continued to test me.
He said "just because you don't feel Me, does not mean that I am not there. Just because you don't feel My Love, doesn't nullify my Love. Feelings don't affect my Love and commitment, just like your sin doesn't affect My goodness. I Love you, Joshua".
I hope this encourages you to ask God to rain down His glory, to flood the dust of our lives with Holy fire so that we can Love as God Loved us. To be perfect as He, our Father, is perfect.
I Love you,
-Josh
We are Isaac
I was talking with sister Breanna today at Starbucks about Genesis 22 (the sacrifice of Isaac), and there were some thoughts raised from that.
First the symbolism of Abraham, Isaac, and the ram.
I just envisioned the situation, and connected with Abraham and Isaac. I've had to give up parts of my life, my entire life, for that matter, for the sake of Christ.
I connected more with Isaac though.
Isaac was supposed to die.
Isaac was supposed to be sacrificed to God by Abraham out of a sign of submission, fear, and Love.
But he was spared.
I was spared.
I was Isaac.
I was supposed to die.
God, (Abraham), was supposed to strike me down with His perfect judgment, but instead, out of love, He provided His son as the substitute, (the ram).
I see Isaac staring up at His father, knife in hand, preparing to strike his son down. Tears rolling down his face, both of them are crying. And then, the angel steps in, and God provides a ram. Abraham cuts his sons bidings, and they stand there, sacrificing the provided ram. Isaac looks at the blood running down the stone, and can't help but shake.
"That was supposed to be me; I was supposed to die. That beautiful sacrifice took my place".
Isaac thanks God and worships Him who gave Him a second chance. He gave Isaac life.
He gave us life. Lets not take it badly.
We were bought with a price. His blood covers us.
We are living in His stead, we are His.
We are His sons and daughters.
I don't know, but I just thought that was beautiful.
First the symbolism of Abraham, Isaac, and the ram.
I just envisioned the situation, and connected with Abraham and Isaac. I've had to give up parts of my life, my entire life, for that matter, for the sake of Christ.
I connected more with Isaac though.
Isaac was supposed to die.
Isaac was supposed to be sacrificed to God by Abraham out of a sign of submission, fear, and Love.
But he was spared.
I was spared.
I was Isaac.
I was supposed to die.
God, (Abraham), was supposed to strike me down with His perfect judgment, but instead, out of love, He provided His son as the substitute, (the ram).
I see Isaac staring up at His father, knife in hand, preparing to strike his son down. Tears rolling down his face, both of them are crying. And then, the angel steps in, and God provides a ram. Abraham cuts his sons bidings, and they stand there, sacrificing the provided ram. Isaac looks at the blood running down the stone, and can't help but shake.
"That was supposed to be me; I was supposed to die. That beautiful sacrifice took my place".
Isaac thanks God and worships Him who gave Him a second chance. He gave Isaac life.
He gave us life. Lets not take it badly.
We were bought with a price. His blood covers us.
We are living in His stead, we are His.
We are His sons and daughters.
I don't know, but I just thought that was beautiful.
I'm a fan
I've been a fan, lately, of breaking down sentences.
I was thinking the other day about love.
I've asserted before that love isn't as much of an emotion as much as it is a commitment.
From that, flows emotion.
Then, brother Luke reminded me that "God is love".
Which made me think: To be in love, we have to be in God.
Mind = blown.
Then, I was talking with brother Tom about how individualistic we have become as a nation and as a church: "I can do this because I'm different", "you're more outgoing than I am, so, its okay if we don't socialize", etc.
We were slightly depressed by how self-centered we are.
We were talking about the possessive word "I".
It was brought up that we are the body of Christ; in fact, we ARE Christ. The fullness of Him dwells in us and we are crucified in Christ it is no longer we who live but Christ in us. To live is Christ to die is gain.
In light of these things, we discussed how when we use the word "I", we need to be careful, because we are Christ.
So, when I say "I love you", we're really saying: "I, Christ in me, loves you".
We can no longer say "I love sin", or "I love pre-marital sex", or "I love getting high", because Christ doesn't love sin, He doesn't love pre-marital sex, or getting high.
So, to tie these thoughts in together, the phrase "I love you", should really be shown as I Love you.
The "L" in love should be capitalized because God is Love.
And.
"I Love you" really means: I, (Christ in me), Loves, (with the same commitment, passion, and unconditional way that God does), you.
I hope this affected you.
I Love you.
-Josh
I was thinking the other day about love.
I've asserted before that love isn't as much of an emotion as much as it is a commitment.
From that, flows emotion.
Then, brother Luke reminded me that "God is love".
Which made me think: To be in love, we have to be in God.
Mind = blown.
Then, I was talking with brother Tom about how individualistic we have become as a nation and as a church: "I can do this because I'm different", "you're more outgoing than I am, so, its okay if we don't socialize", etc.
We were slightly depressed by how self-centered we are.
We were talking about the possessive word "I".
It was brought up that we are the body of Christ; in fact, we ARE Christ. The fullness of Him dwells in us and we are crucified in Christ it is no longer we who live but Christ in us. To live is Christ to die is gain.
In light of these things, we discussed how when we use the word "I", we need to be careful, because we are Christ.
So, when I say "I love you", we're really saying: "I, Christ in me, loves you".
We can no longer say "I love sin", or "I love pre-marital sex", or "I love getting high", because Christ doesn't love sin, He doesn't love pre-marital sex, or getting high.
So, to tie these thoughts in together, the phrase "I love you", should really be shown as I Love you.
The "L" in love should be capitalized because God is Love.
And.
"I Love you" really means: I, (Christ in me), Loves, (with the same commitment, passion, and unconditional way that God does), you.
I hope this affected you.
I Love you.
-Josh
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Love is a Hurricane
"He is jealous for me; love's like a hurricane, I am a tree: bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy".
His love is a hurricane.
Hurricane's are destructive.
His love is destructive.
I'm was thinking today, with my good friend Uriah and he pointed something out to me.
"When you've been through a hurricane, everything: EVERYTHING, is a mess; however, you have to start somewhere. Might as well keep cleaning a littler here, and a little there, because, the truth is, you're not going to get everything together in one day".
This is the truth.
God swept through my life in a hurricane filled with destruction, love, and mercy.
He took, in a single day, every material thing I had taken from God. He took a valued relationship and friendship, a car, and all of my money.
That is love. Especially if those things were in "my" possession. It was mercy that kept me from harm in doing all those things and mercy showing me the error of my ways and not allowing me to stay the way I was. Instead, He chose to destroy me, to show me how much He loves me. He destroyed because He loves me.
I need to clean up the mess left from the hurricane of Gods love and mercy. Something has always feel off this week, no matter what, and I realized what it is: I'm dirty from the hurricane still. I can't sleep perfectly well in a dirty room, in the same way, my life is a jumbled mess and I can't rest knowing its still jacked up.
In the same way, I cannot have all of this fixed in one hour, day, or week. Its going to be a process. I'll have to start somewhere, though. I cannot sit here and pray all this crap away. I need to clean up my mess. Because, if it had a strong foundation, what would love had destroyed? Nothing. Love wouldn't destroy love. I need to start somewhere, and continue.
"Search me, oh God, and know my anxious thoughts; see if there be any imperfect way in me, and lead me in the way of the everlasting. I love You, God. You love me. Thank You for loving me and having mercy on me in the way You sent destruction my way. I needed it. Give me the grace to continue as I always have, in You, and the grace to clean up the mess that is myself. I love You. Jesus, save me.
In Your Sons amazingly loving name: amen"
Love Always,
-Josh
If you have questions, call me. I'd love to talk to you.
His love is a hurricane.
Hurricane's are destructive.
His love is destructive.
I'm was thinking today, with my good friend Uriah and he pointed something out to me.
"When you've been through a hurricane, everything: EVERYTHING, is a mess; however, you have to start somewhere. Might as well keep cleaning a littler here, and a little there, because, the truth is, you're not going to get everything together in one day".
This is the truth.
God swept through my life in a hurricane filled with destruction, love, and mercy.
He took, in a single day, every material thing I had taken from God. He took a valued relationship and friendship, a car, and all of my money.
That is love. Especially if those things were in "my" possession. It was mercy that kept me from harm in doing all those things and mercy showing me the error of my ways and not allowing me to stay the way I was. Instead, He chose to destroy me, to show me how much He loves me. He destroyed because He loves me.
I need to clean up the mess left from the hurricane of Gods love and mercy. Something has always feel off this week, no matter what, and I realized what it is: I'm dirty from the hurricane still. I can't sleep perfectly well in a dirty room, in the same way, my life is a jumbled mess and I can't rest knowing its still jacked up.
In the same way, I cannot have all of this fixed in one hour, day, or week. Its going to be a process. I'll have to start somewhere, though. I cannot sit here and pray all this crap away. I need to clean up my mess. Because, if it had a strong foundation, what would love had destroyed? Nothing. Love wouldn't destroy love. I need to start somewhere, and continue.
"Search me, oh God, and know my anxious thoughts; see if there be any imperfect way in me, and lead me in the way of the everlasting. I love You, God. You love me. Thank You for loving me and having mercy on me in the way You sent destruction my way. I needed it. Give me the grace to continue as I always have, in You, and the grace to clean up the mess that is myself. I love You. Jesus, save me.
In Your Sons amazingly loving name: amen"
Love Always,
-Josh
If you have questions, call me. I'd love to talk to you.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Honesty
Sometimes, I wonder if other people feel the way I feel, think the way I think, or act the way I do. I wonder if people are as insecure as I am, or as rotten in the heart as I am, at times.I wonder what it would be like if everyone looked like they felt.
If I looked like I felt, this week, I would look weird; I would probably look like a homeless person.
I imagine homeless people feel lonely. I think they would feel humbled by their shortcomings and the situation they currently find themselves. I feel humbled by the situation I find myself. Its funny how you can have an idea of who you are and start to find comfort in the shade of the identity you've built for yourself. The thing is, however, that if we build our own identity, it will fall apart eventually. You see, we are imperfect; imperfect things cannot build perfect things. In the same way an imperfect gene of a flower will affect its offspring, the same happens with us. We are imperfect, attempting to build ourselves a perfect image and identity, only to find out later that it was wrong from the start and there was nothing we could do about it. There was not a single car we could have owned, a single relationship we could have forced, a dollar amount that we could have earned that would ever solidify our identity in a perfect manner.
Sometimes I wonder why God sent His son to die for us.
You see, God is perfect. He was perfect in and of Himself. He was secure in His own perfect identity in constant communion with the Holy Spirit and His son. He didn't need to create, but out of His love, He created us: man and woman. The weird thing is, He created us in full knowledge that we would fall. He created us knowing He would have to save us somehow. We were a damsel in distress. He was our hero. But the thing is, it wasn't even just Him that saved us: it was His son. I know that I would give my life for almost anyone, but I don't even know what it would be like to give up my child. I always knew that God loved me, but its different when you thin that He loved me and esteemed me greater than Him. Not only that, but He esteemed me greater than His son.
Sometimes when I feel like a homeless person, it helps to think about how much I'm loved. It makes me feel like I have a hero out there, who loves and watches out for me when I'm sad and lonely. He's there for me to comfort me and protect me. I think that's beautiful. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to love that way. I want that kind of love.
I think people do feel the way that I feel sometimes, because if they didn't they wouldn't feel the need to be loved by others. That's okay though, because, when we love each other, its really just God loving us through that person.
All good and perfect things come from above, right? I guess that means that hugs, kisses, high fives, fist bumps, smiles, laughs, compliments, truth, and love are all from God too. I'm alright with that. I think that's a perfect foundation to build on. Even though I'm not perfect, my Hero is perfect. He made me perfect because He painted me perfect with His sons blood. I was the rotten painting and He fixed me. He rebuilt me and that is the point.
When we build our identity, its false, its a fake. Its phony.
When God builds our identity, He takes His sons blood, paints over our imperfections, and makes us perfect in Him. That is our identity. Our identity in God is perfect. He looks at us with perfect eyes and thinks we are the most beautiful thing in the world. We are His portion. We look like Christmas morning.
Its good to know that whenever I feel like a bum, God loves me, and thinks I'm the best. I think I'm alright with that.
If I looked like I felt, this week, I would look weird; I would probably look like a homeless person.
I imagine homeless people feel lonely. I think they would feel humbled by their shortcomings and the situation they currently find themselves. I feel humbled by the situation I find myself. Its funny how you can have an idea of who you are and start to find comfort in the shade of the identity you've built for yourself. The thing is, however, that if we build our own identity, it will fall apart eventually. You see, we are imperfect; imperfect things cannot build perfect things. In the same way an imperfect gene of a flower will affect its offspring, the same happens with us. We are imperfect, attempting to build ourselves a perfect image and identity, only to find out later that it was wrong from the start and there was nothing we could do about it. There was not a single car we could have owned, a single relationship we could have forced, a dollar amount that we could have earned that would ever solidify our identity in a perfect manner.
Sometimes I wonder why God sent His son to die for us.
You see, God is perfect. He was perfect in and of Himself. He was secure in His own perfect identity in constant communion with the Holy Spirit and His son. He didn't need to create, but out of His love, He created us: man and woman. The weird thing is, He created us in full knowledge that we would fall. He created us knowing He would have to save us somehow. We were a damsel in distress. He was our hero. But the thing is, it wasn't even just Him that saved us: it was His son. I know that I would give my life for almost anyone, but I don't even know what it would be like to give up my child. I always knew that God loved me, but its different when you thin that He loved me and esteemed me greater than Him. Not only that, but He esteemed me greater than His son.
Sometimes when I feel like a homeless person, it helps to think about how much I'm loved. It makes me feel like I have a hero out there, who loves and watches out for me when I'm sad and lonely. He's there for me to comfort me and protect me. I think that's beautiful. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to love that way. I want that kind of love.
I think people do feel the way that I feel sometimes, because if they didn't they wouldn't feel the need to be loved by others. That's okay though, because, when we love each other, its really just God loving us through that person.
All good and perfect things come from above, right? I guess that means that hugs, kisses, high fives, fist bumps, smiles, laughs, compliments, truth, and love are all from God too. I'm alright with that. I think that's a perfect foundation to build on. Even though I'm not perfect, my Hero is perfect. He made me perfect because He painted me perfect with His sons blood. I was the rotten painting and He fixed me. He rebuilt me and that is the point.
When we build our identity, its false, its a fake. Its phony.
When God builds our identity, He takes His sons blood, paints over our imperfections, and makes us perfect in Him. That is our identity. Our identity in God is perfect. He looks at us with perfect eyes and thinks we are the most beautiful thing in the world. We are His portion. We look like Christmas morning.
Its good to know that whenever I feel like a bum, God loves me, and thinks I'm the best. I think I'm alright with that.
Monday, March 29, 2010
True Faith in Regards to Love
Tonight was the last night of the series of Songs of Solomon at The Well in Fresno. Tonight, Brad Bell talked about the importance of keeping the old as well as the new in a relationship or marriage and how important it is to desire your love. Now, while Brad was talking, God was giving me a sermon of His own, and that is where all of these ideas were born out of.
It all starts with faith and hope. Hope was what caused Abraham to set out on his journey to find the dwelling place of whose builder and maker was God. Faith sustained that hope because in his heart of hearts, Abraham knew that his heavenly Fathers words were true. He believed that God had the power to do what He promised him. So, with hope and faith, Abraham set out to seek his promise.
In the same way as Abraham was hopeful of the promise of God, so should we in light of our future spouse. However, our focus should not be on our future spouse alone, but, instead, our focus should be set on the Kingdom of Heaven and the hope of the glory of God. While pursuing those things, we are assured in the sermon on the mount that “all things will be added” to us (if) we seek those things first. When our focus is on our Master, He blesses us.
That is not to say that we should not focus on bettering ourselves for our God and our future spouse, nor should that imply that we ought not to pray for our future bride/groom. We should fervently pray for them and ourselves that we be prepared for the relationship and that we focus our attention on the author and keeper of our faith. With that, we can then prepare ourselves for our future relationship and have a good start to it. It would be the equivalent of studying for a test or training for any sporting event.
Another point this brought up was the passion I have, already, for my future spouse. I’m absolutely stoked to meet her and I know that God will provide for me an amazing bride. He will bring her to me and I will be hers and she will be mine. Not only that, but it will be divinely appointed. I always heard the words “God will bring you, your wife”. Which I always thought was “God will drag a girl out of nowhere and plop her right in front of you with no effort on your part”. I never agreed with that until God pointed out to me that it is not what those words mean. God told me to treat women like sisters in Christ. I should love them, respect them, and treat them as sisters in Christ; this is to make sure I am respectful and maintain integrity. It is so easy to meet girls and to attempt to put the “potential wife” label on them and treat them as such; however, it is far harder for us as men of God to assume the position of the respectful brother in Christ and to treat them as such. This causes us to suppress our male urges (hopefully) and cause us to better treat the women in our lives. When this happens, we aren’t worried about the women we meet being our future wives, we’re more interested in being a great man of God, holy and pleasing, and with that, meaningful friendships and relationships can be developed. Then, when God is working in us and He decides it is time for Him to reveal to us whom He has chosen for us, we can have that established relationship already and build upon that.
The divine interaction is most likely not a “we met in a bar across a crowded room” situation, but, more likely to be a “we met and grew as friends in the love of our Lord and felt led into a relationship”. This isn’t for sure, but I feel this is more likely than the former.
God has given me a passion for my bride now that has ALSO caused me to be mindful of how I act with women. I don’t want to spoil myself for her. I want to present myself pure to her. I want her to know that I have kept myself for her and her alone. I want eternalize my actions and to be completely conscious of all of my dealings with others. It sounds odd, but I feel like I am preparing myself for my wife who is and is to come and I don’t want to make her jealous. Lord knows I’m already jealous for her.
All of this was born out of tonight and I hope this impacts someone. One last bit of wisdom before I leave is this: normally, people let their past determine where they are going in life and how they will act in the present and future. Instead, may I propose this?
Let your eternity dictate what you do in the present.
What is done is done, but what is to come is going to be eternal, and if we are driven by our eternity, we will be taking active steps of hastening the Lords coming. I hope this blessed some of you. I love you all, very deeply. Please, feel free to message me and see me anytime. I have way too much free time on my hands.
Love,
-Josh
It all starts with faith and hope. Hope was what caused Abraham to set out on his journey to find the dwelling place of whose builder and maker was God. Faith sustained that hope because in his heart of hearts, Abraham knew that his heavenly Fathers words were true. He believed that God had the power to do what He promised him. So, with hope and faith, Abraham set out to seek his promise.
In the same way as Abraham was hopeful of the promise of God, so should we in light of our future spouse. However, our focus should not be on our future spouse alone, but, instead, our focus should be set on the Kingdom of Heaven and the hope of the glory of God. While pursuing those things, we are assured in the sermon on the mount that “all things will be added” to us (if) we seek those things first. When our focus is on our Master, He blesses us.
That is not to say that we should not focus on bettering ourselves for our God and our future spouse, nor should that imply that we ought not to pray for our future bride/groom. We should fervently pray for them and ourselves that we be prepared for the relationship and that we focus our attention on the author and keeper of our faith. With that, we can then prepare ourselves for our future relationship and have a good start to it. It would be the equivalent of studying for a test or training for any sporting event.
Another point this brought up was the passion I have, already, for my future spouse. I’m absolutely stoked to meet her and I know that God will provide for me an amazing bride. He will bring her to me and I will be hers and she will be mine. Not only that, but it will be divinely appointed. I always heard the words “God will bring you, your wife”. Which I always thought was “God will drag a girl out of nowhere and plop her right in front of you with no effort on your part”. I never agreed with that until God pointed out to me that it is not what those words mean. God told me to treat women like sisters in Christ. I should love them, respect them, and treat them as sisters in Christ; this is to make sure I am respectful and maintain integrity. It is so easy to meet girls and to attempt to put the “potential wife” label on them and treat them as such; however, it is far harder for us as men of God to assume the position of the respectful brother in Christ and to treat them as such. This causes us to suppress our male urges (hopefully) and cause us to better treat the women in our lives. When this happens, we aren’t worried about the women we meet being our future wives, we’re more interested in being a great man of God, holy and pleasing, and with that, meaningful friendships and relationships can be developed. Then, when God is working in us and He decides it is time for Him to reveal to us whom He has chosen for us, we can have that established relationship already and build upon that.
The divine interaction is most likely not a “we met in a bar across a crowded room” situation, but, more likely to be a “we met and grew as friends in the love of our Lord and felt led into a relationship”. This isn’t for sure, but I feel this is more likely than the former.
God has given me a passion for my bride now that has ALSO caused me to be mindful of how I act with women. I don’t want to spoil myself for her. I want to present myself pure to her. I want her to know that I have kept myself for her and her alone. I want eternalize my actions and to be completely conscious of all of my dealings with others. It sounds odd, but I feel like I am preparing myself for my wife who is and is to come and I don’t want to make her jealous. Lord knows I’m already jealous for her.
All of this was born out of tonight and I hope this impacts someone. One last bit of wisdom before I leave is this: normally, people let their past determine where they are going in life and how they will act in the present and future. Instead, may I propose this?
Let your eternity dictate what you do in the present.
What is done is done, but what is to come is going to be eternal, and if we are driven by our eternity, we will be taking active steps of hastening the Lords coming. I hope this blessed some of you. I love you all, very deeply. Please, feel free to message me and see me anytime. I have way too much free time on my hands.
Love,
-Josh
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
25 things you should know
So, after all the serious notes I've been writing, I've finally decided to give in to the facebook questionnaire; so, here it is: once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
1. I love clothes, more specifically, v necks, tank tops, fitted jeans, and shorter shorts.
2. 8 times out of 10, I order an Iced Venti Green Tea Unsweetened from Starbucks; I never regret it.
3. Brand New, Sufjan Stevens, Matt Costa, and Band of Horses are some of my new favorites.
4. I have grown a mustache on several occasions and been called a pedophile because of it; often.
5. Working out is one of my newer favorite hobbies.
6. I know Nickleback sucks more than any other band out there.
7. I love SoCal.
8. I run on 6 hours a night perfectly fine.
9. I want a road bike.
10. Hebrews 11, Romans 4, 5, and 6, and James 4 are some of my favorite passages right now.
11. I think Neutella is over-rated.
12. Film camera's are under-rated.
13. I would much rather be outside and have fun while doing active things such as: longboarding, surfing, snowboarding, swimming, sports, etc.
14. I hate Saturdays.
15. I only watch two television shows, and I only watch them online: How I Met Your Mother, and Chuck.
16. I love and believe in the college ministry of Roots in Reedley; please, if you're looking to be loved, go to it, and call 559-840-7772 for more info.
17. Is my favorite number.
18. I tend to not worry about things that should be worried about, and worry about heart matters more often than I should.
19. I want more tattoos than I have, and I have grown quite fond of the one I currently have: It means worship in Hebrew.
20. I don't shoot guns on a regular basis and don't mind that I don't.
21. I forgive people very quickly and I almost never get angry with anyone legitimately.
22. I can't wait to be with my Forest Home friends in the summer.
23. I always say I'm going to grow my hair out, and at the same length, every time, I cut it shorter than I'd like. Always.
24. I am extremely transparent; I look like I feel.
25. My God loves me so much more than I could ever comprehend and I am excited to keep pursuing Him in all things :)
1. I love clothes, more specifically, v necks, tank tops, fitted jeans, and shorter shorts.
2. 8 times out of 10, I order an Iced Venti Green Tea Unsweetened from Starbucks; I never regret it.
3. Brand New, Sufjan Stevens, Matt Costa, and Band of Horses are some of my new favorites.
4. I have grown a mustache on several occasions and been called a pedophile because of it; often.
5. Working out is one of my newer favorite hobbies.
6. I know Nickleback sucks more than any other band out there.
7. I love SoCal.
8. I run on 6 hours a night perfectly fine.
9. I want a road bike.
10. Hebrews 11, Romans 4, 5, and 6, and James 4 are some of my favorite passages right now.
11. I think Neutella is over-rated.
12. Film camera's are under-rated.
13. I would much rather be outside and have fun while doing active things such as: longboarding, surfing, snowboarding, swimming, sports, etc.
14. I hate Saturdays.
15. I only watch two television shows, and I only watch them online: How I Met Your Mother, and Chuck.
16. I love and believe in the college ministry of Roots in Reedley; please, if you're looking to be loved, go to it, and call 559-840-7772 for more info.
17. Is my favorite number.
18. I tend to not worry about things that should be worried about, and worry about heart matters more often than I should.
19. I want more tattoos than I have, and I have grown quite fond of the one I currently have: It means worship in Hebrew.
20. I don't shoot guns on a regular basis and don't mind that I don't.
21. I forgive people very quickly and I almost never get angry with anyone legitimately.
22. I can't wait to be with my Forest Home friends in the summer.
23. I always say I'm going to grow my hair out, and at the same length, every time, I cut it shorter than I'd like. Always.
24. I am extremely transparent; I look like I feel.
25. My God loves me so much more than I could ever comprehend and I am excited to keep pursuing Him in all things :)
Circles
Oh, God, where do I start? I have been through more in the past 6 months in my life than I ever expected to go through at my age. I thought foolishly that the dash between 18 and 25 included indulgences in binge drinking, conquests with women and friends. I got the last part right. I’m sure somewhere in this area people are doing the first two items on that agenda, but not me. I asked God to “make me more like Him” and to “fill me with Him” and to give me “intimacy”; He took me seriously and I’m never going to understand why He decided to bless me with the things that He’s done and given to me. I have no clue how to connect this to my writing, but I needed to vent a little.
I wrote not too long ago about love and commitment and the linking of emotions. I explained that emotions, although not being bad in and of themselves, are only temporal things and cannot be counted on to always be there. On the other hand, a commitment brings about emotions. We should, instead of basing decisions on emotions, base our decisions out of the commitments we make and the proper emotions will pour out.
Now, I failed to mention that although emotions may be present, they, at times, may be absent. This seems a minor overlook to most, but I promise, it is not. It is far simpler to act upon good or bad emotion, than to act in the absence of them. In fact, it is not even acting on emotions in the first place; it is more of a reaction, or a response to emotion. In an emotional void, we have nothing to react or response to. We have to be the action. We have the responsibility to act.
This seems like it would not be a great deal, but, it is. It is far easier for one to blame their actions on a situation, or to be polite when they are happy, or to turn the other cheek and respect someone who has harmed them, than it is to be courteous and loving when you don’t feel anything for the other party. In the absence of emotion, however, we have the power to speak truth in perfection. With the full weight of the words behind them, we can speak the truth in committal love, not in emotional love.
This I have learned over the past year, and it has been proved helpful: our circumstances do not affect Gods eternal being. God IS good. God IS love. God is perfection. God IS righteous. These are all true, and our emotions, or how we feel, do not affect these attributes. Also, if God is eternal, and absolute, do any of His aspects change? The answer would be no. So, if God is absolute and He is truth, if we, then, speak the truth, we are speaking eternal words that are everlasting and true.
If I say “God is good” with no emotional attachment to the phrase, I am speaking the truth still, and God is being glorified. This is the beginning of faith, according to Romans 4. Abraham was building his faith by glorifying God, in emotion, and while being void of it I’m sure. Then, by growing in faith, we are credited righteousness. This is also stated in Romans 4 that Abraham was “credited righteousness” for waiting on the Lord and having “faith” in Him. With the introduction and development of faith in our lives, we are then justified, (Romans 5). Being justified by faith, we then, can walk peaceably with God, in intimacy with Him. With this intimacy we can walk down the path of righteousness and fulfill the purpose in our lives. This purpose is worship.
I will illustrate it like this. In life, there are four stages. There is the stage of enmity with God: where we are at war with God in our rejection of His son’s payment for our sin. Then, we step in to Redemption, where we are saved, by grace, through faith, that His son can cleanse us from sin. From there we walk with and in Christ our Savior on the path of righteousness. We do this to obtain our final destination, a place of constant worship of our God.
This is the simpler, clear cut version: War; redemption, righteousness, worship.
Now that we’ve established that, I’ll bring this back to the close.
We gain faith by glorifying God. When we have faith, and grow in faith, we are credited righteousness. When we are found in right standing with God, we can walk in peace with Him and be satisfied. We are most satisfied in life, when we are fulfilling our purpose, which is worship. And, in turn, worship is merely the act of glorifying God. This completes the circle a Christian must walk.
Grace gives us the power to have walk in this path, but it takes faith, and I believe that is where this starts. But, I could be wrong. I just found this amazingly beneficial in my life and I hope that this blesses someone. Thanks for reading.
Love,
-Josh
God, please continue to grow in me. I ask for comfort, continued comfort and love and affection. I want and need and deserve to be loved. Thanks.
I love you, God. Amen.
I wrote not too long ago about love and commitment and the linking of emotions. I explained that emotions, although not being bad in and of themselves, are only temporal things and cannot be counted on to always be there. On the other hand, a commitment brings about emotions. We should, instead of basing decisions on emotions, base our decisions out of the commitments we make and the proper emotions will pour out.
Now, I failed to mention that although emotions may be present, they, at times, may be absent. This seems a minor overlook to most, but I promise, it is not. It is far simpler to act upon good or bad emotion, than to act in the absence of them. In fact, it is not even acting on emotions in the first place; it is more of a reaction, or a response to emotion. In an emotional void, we have nothing to react or response to. We have to be the action. We have the responsibility to act.
This seems like it would not be a great deal, but, it is. It is far easier for one to blame their actions on a situation, or to be polite when they are happy, or to turn the other cheek and respect someone who has harmed them, than it is to be courteous and loving when you don’t feel anything for the other party. In the absence of emotion, however, we have the power to speak truth in perfection. With the full weight of the words behind them, we can speak the truth in committal love, not in emotional love.
This I have learned over the past year, and it has been proved helpful: our circumstances do not affect Gods eternal being. God IS good. God IS love. God is perfection. God IS righteous. These are all true, and our emotions, or how we feel, do not affect these attributes. Also, if God is eternal, and absolute, do any of His aspects change? The answer would be no. So, if God is absolute and He is truth, if we, then, speak the truth, we are speaking eternal words that are everlasting and true.
If I say “God is good” with no emotional attachment to the phrase, I am speaking the truth still, and God is being glorified. This is the beginning of faith, according to Romans 4. Abraham was building his faith by glorifying God, in emotion, and while being void of it I’m sure. Then, by growing in faith, we are credited righteousness. This is also stated in Romans 4 that Abraham was “credited righteousness” for waiting on the Lord and having “faith” in Him. With the introduction and development of faith in our lives, we are then justified, (Romans 5). Being justified by faith, we then, can walk peaceably with God, in intimacy with Him. With this intimacy we can walk down the path of righteousness and fulfill the purpose in our lives. This purpose is worship.
I will illustrate it like this. In life, there are four stages. There is the stage of enmity with God: where we are at war with God in our rejection of His son’s payment for our sin. Then, we step in to Redemption, where we are saved, by grace, through faith, that His son can cleanse us from sin. From there we walk with and in Christ our Savior on the path of righteousness. We do this to obtain our final destination, a place of constant worship of our God.
This is the simpler, clear cut version: War; redemption, righteousness, worship.
Now that we’ve established that, I’ll bring this back to the close.
We gain faith by glorifying God. When we have faith, and grow in faith, we are credited righteousness. When we are found in right standing with God, we can walk in peace with Him and be satisfied. We are most satisfied in life, when we are fulfilling our purpose, which is worship. And, in turn, worship is merely the act of glorifying God. This completes the circle a Christian must walk.
Grace gives us the power to have walk in this path, but it takes faith, and I believe that is where this starts. But, I could be wrong. I just found this amazingly beneficial in my life and I hope that this blesses someone. Thanks for reading.
Love,
-Josh
God, please continue to grow in me. I ask for comfort, continued comfort and love and affection. I want and need and deserve to be loved. Thanks.
I love you, God. Amen.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Temporal andThe Eternal
Noah Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines Commitment as "the act of committing"; this is not very helpful. But, his definition of committing is helpful in helping us understand a view on what it really means to commit.
Committing: Giving trust or depositing; an act of obligation or obedience.
With this definition in mind, I wish to convey my thoughts on, I believe, a pressing matter. The matter is this: Commitment; commitment will encompass other topics of discussion, but we must start from the beginning. There are two types of commitments: a commitment to the temporal, and a commitment to the eternal. First, I'll talk on the subject of the temporal.
Temporal is defined as this: lasting for a time only; existing or continuing for a limited time.
Things that fit into this category are: emotions/feelings, desires of the flesh, death, worldly possessions and ideologies, and the self. This is important to note because of what a commitment to the temporal can look like.
A commitment to the temporal can be something as simple as saying yes to a proposal to grab fast food with a friend because your emotions and glands are telling you that you're hungry and your friend is fun. It can be as important as a decision to step into a relationship with another person, or our Heavenly Father.
This type of commitment is not bad. In fact, for new believers and new relationships, it is essential. This type of commitment is necessary for us to grow. For example, stepping into a relationship with a member of the opposite sex in a romantic setting can be beneficial. The emotional, physical, and spiritual connection can be a legitimate basis to start a meaningful relationship. It is good to be disciplined in this. Even in a relationship with our Father in heaven. When we have an emotional "camp high" experience, our emotions and spirit are lifted up and cause us to desire something greater, which impacts us enough to make a decision or a commitment to follow Jesus Christ.
The temporal commitment is not bad. But, at the same time, the only problem with the TEMPORAL is that it is TEMPORARY. Emotions and feelings do not last; alas, they are temporary. Although they are beneficial for the moment, they come and go. They cannot be counted on to be constant and not a solid basis for any type of real firm commitment.
At some point, we all reach a point in our relationships and our lives where temporary things will not due; we need to be eternally driven and eternally committed, which is our second point of interest.
Now, we know that the only thing that is eternal is the God-head.
How does this relate to the temporal? I’ll explain.
The temporal, although it shares aspects of the eternal, is not the same and cannot encompass the eternal. However, the eternal, because it is perfect, can encompass aspects of the temporal. What this essentially means is that the temporal is imperfect, weak, and flawed. This is demonstrated easily by our hearts and emotions. The heart, as stated in Jeremiah 17 verse 9 is “deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” This constitutes a problem, because, if we make a commitment based on an imperfect thing, by that very reason, it can never be firm as a foundation for a legitimate relationship; it can only be good for a small amount of time. Just as a relationship between a man and a woman, or between humankind and God can be simple at first as to promote growth, it is essentially not enough to produce a fruitful relationship between both parties.
That is where the eternal steps in. The eternal is the perfection of the temporal. The commitment to the eternal is constant. It is perfect. It is never changing. This is a “cut above” or a “holy” choice to make. It is a decision to upgrade or step into a more mature, committed, relationship.
I will illustrate this point in this light: God, because of His commitment to us, was willing to send His son to die a bloody death on the cross for us. He, our loving Father wasn’t always pleased with us; in fact, often times, I’d argue the case that He was angry at times with His people. But He promised us that He would love us all of our days and to not forsake us. He COMMITTED Himself to us and out of that commitment, the feelings of love, anger, joy, and so on were produced (which are temporal, God isn’t eternally angry).
Another way of illustrating this would be in another romantic setting. If I, a man, decided to LOVE a woman, I would be COMMITTING myself to loving that person, regardless of how I felt at times. Emotion would play a part and would flow from that commitment, but it is not the sole purpose of the relationship. It is a constant, perfect, commitment to an eternal aspect: Love.
Commitment to the eternal produces emotions (which are temporal: desirable and undesirable); it has and always will be this way. The commitment to the temporal, however, is subject to change and cannot be counted on to produce constant emotions. The temporal is temporary, and, therefore, cannot be counted on to be constant and perfect.
In order to make a complete and logical flow of what this looks like, I’ve constructed a map of what this looks like.
1. Commitment to Temporal (feelings produce a commitment)
a. feelings/emotions
b. desires/passions
2. Beginnings of a relationship
a. God or another person
Then we come to a crossroads, we either decide to stay in the immature and imperfect realm of temporal commitments, or we step into the eternal commitments
3. Commitment to the Eternal
a. faith
b. hope
c. LOVE (God is love)
4. Emotions flow from the commitment
a. Because I love you, I feel this way…
b. Decisions based on commitment
I will finish my thoughts with this statement.
In most Christians lives, we’ve come to a point where we have had to make a choice: to accept Him, or not. If we have accepted Him, and decided to follow Him then eventually we have to come to another decision: Whether or not we will deny ourselves, pick up our crosses, and commit our eternal lives to following a perfect and eternal being. This decision, although daunting, is essential, and, frankly, one that many of us may have passed over.
Many church going people, including myself, have long staying in the uncomfortable confines of a temporal commitment to our eternal God.
We say things like “I loved worship today”, or “I felt close to God today”, and we equate those temporary emotions with the status of our relationship with Him. This is a temporal and futile way of thinking. We cannot, if we wish to have a fruitful relationship with God, linger in the childish ways of the temporal relationship. We must graduate and step into the eternal commitment to God. Out of that commitment, emotion will follow, desirable and not. And even though we may not always be HAPPY or COMFORTABLE in our relationship with Him, we will KNOW in all certainty the “I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine”.
I’ll leave with this scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:9-12
9For(O) we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but(P) when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For(Q) now we see in a mirror dimly, but(R) then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as(S) I have been fully known.
13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I hope this was a blessing to you, Amen.
-Josh
Committing: Giving trust or depositing; an act of obligation or obedience.
With this definition in mind, I wish to convey my thoughts on, I believe, a pressing matter. The matter is this: Commitment; commitment will encompass other topics of discussion, but we must start from the beginning. There are two types of commitments: a commitment to the temporal, and a commitment to the eternal. First, I'll talk on the subject of the temporal.
Temporal is defined as this: lasting for a time only; existing or continuing for a limited time.
Things that fit into this category are: emotions/feelings, desires of the flesh, death, worldly possessions and ideologies, and the self. This is important to note because of what a commitment to the temporal can look like.
A commitment to the temporal can be something as simple as saying yes to a proposal to grab fast food with a friend because your emotions and glands are telling you that you're hungry and your friend is fun. It can be as important as a decision to step into a relationship with another person, or our Heavenly Father.
This type of commitment is not bad. In fact, for new believers and new relationships, it is essential. This type of commitment is necessary for us to grow. For example, stepping into a relationship with a member of the opposite sex in a romantic setting can be beneficial. The emotional, physical, and spiritual connection can be a legitimate basis to start a meaningful relationship. It is good to be disciplined in this. Even in a relationship with our Father in heaven. When we have an emotional "camp high" experience, our emotions and spirit are lifted up and cause us to desire something greater, which impacts us enough to make a decision or a commitment to follow Jesus Christ.
The temporal commitment is not bad. But, at the same time, the only problem with the TEMPORAL is that it is TEMPORARY. Emotions and feelings do not last; alas, they are temporary. Although they are beneficial for the moment, they come and go. They cannot be counted on to be constant and not a solid basis for any type of real firm commitment.
At some point, we all reach a point in our relationships and our lives where temporary things will not due; we need to be eternally driven and eternally committed, which is our second point of interest.
Now, we know that the only thing that is eternal is the God-head.
How does this relate to the temporal? I’ll explain.
The temporal, although it shares aspects of the eternal, is not the same and cannot encompass the eternal. However, the eternal, because it is perfect, can encompass aspects of the temporal. What this essentially means is that the temporal is imperfect, weak, and flawed. This is demonstrated easily by our hearts and emotions. The heart, as stated in Jeremiah 17 verse 9 is “deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” This constitutes a problem, because, if we make a commitment based on an imperfect thing, by that very reason, it can never be firm as a foundation for a legitimate relationship; it can only be good for a small amount of time. Just as a relationship between a man and a woman, or between humankind and God can be simple at first as to promote growth, it is essentially not enough to produce a fruitful relationship between both parties.
That is where the eternal steps in. The eternal is the perfection of the temporal. The commitment to the eternal is constant. It is perfect. It is never changing. This is a “cut above” or a “holy” choice to make. It is a decision to upgrade or step into a more mature, committed, relationship.
I will illustrate this point in this light: God, because of His commitment to us, was willing to send His son to die a bloody death on the cross for us. He, our loving Father wasn’t always pleased with us; in fact, often times, I’d argue the case that He was angry at times with His people. But He promised us that He would love us all of our days and to not forsake us. He COMMITTED Himself to us and out of that commitment, the feelings of love, anger, joy, and so on were produced (which are temporal, God isn’t eternally angry).
Another way of illustrating this would be in another romantic setting. If I, a man, decided to LOVE a woman, I would be COMMITTING myself to loving that person, regardless of how I felt at times. Emotion would play a part and would flow from that commitment, but it is not the sole purpose of the relationship. It is a constant, perfect, commitment to an eternal aspect: Love.
Commitment to the eternal produces emotions (which are temporal: desirable and undesirable); it has and always will be this way. The commitment to the temporal, however, is subject to change and cannot be counted on to produce constant emotions. The temporal is temporary, and, therefore, cannot be counted on to be constant and perfect.
In order to make a complete and logical flow of what this looks like, I’ve constructed a map of what this looks like.
1. Commitment to Temporal (feelings produce a commitment)
a. feelings/emotions
b. desires/passions
2. Beginnings of a relationship
a. God or another person
Then we come to a crossroads, we either decide to stay in the immature and imperfect realm of temporal commitments, or we step into the eternal commitments
3. Commitment to the Eternal
a. faith
b. hope
c. LOVE (God is love)
4. Emotions flow from the commitment
a. Because I love you, I feel this way…
b. Decisions based on commitment
I will finish my thoughts with this statement.
In most Christians lives, we’ve come to a point where we have had to make a choice: to accept Him, or not. If we have accepted Him, and decided to follow Him then eventually we have to come to another decision: Whether or not we will deny ourselves, pick up our crosses, and commit our eternal lives to following a perfect and eternal being. This decision, although daunting, is essential, and, frankly, one that many of us may have passed over.
Many church going people, including myself, have long staying in the uncomfortable confines of a temporal commitment to our eternal God.
We say things like “I loved worship today”, or “I felt close to God today”, and we equate those temporary emotions with the status of our relationship with Him. This is a temporal and futile way of thinking. We cannot, if we wish to have a fruitful relationship with God, linger in the childish ways of the temporal relationship. We must graduate and step into the eternal commitment to God. Out of that commitment, emotion will follow, desirable and not. And even though we may not always be HAPPY or COMFORTABLE in our relationship with Him, we will KNOW in all certainty the “I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine”.
I’ll leave with this scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:9-12
9For(O) we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but(P) when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For(Q) now we see in a mirror dimly, but(R) then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as(S) I have been fully known.
13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I hope this was a blessing to you, Amen.
-Josh
Saturday, February 27, 2010
When He Loves Us, its Evident.
Tonight, God was calling me to be silent, and it was so He could romance me. This is extremely personal, and I hope this is a blessing to some of you. I know God blessed me by romancing me. I hope He does the same to you. You'll never be the same. Here it is:
The Lord my God is tugging gently at my heart as one who is longing for attention. He's coming for me, He's coming for us, and it’s evident in the way the earth is groaning and yearning for His return. I think He wants my attention, but what is more truthful is that He deserves my attention.
Maybe this is true. Maybe I shouldn't be focusing so much of myself and focus giving myself to His perfect love. Maybe I should humble myself. Maybe I should be quiet, contrite, and lowly in spirit.
Maybe He's going to grace me with His presence.
I can’t seem to shake the phrase “Jesus is coming” from my head. There’s something there. I know it. I feel it my body. I feel in my spirit; it’s stirring inside of me: eagerly. Yet, with the same yearning I feel the need for quietness. I feel unworthy of such love. I feel humbled that He loves me. I am humbled that He would esteem me to enough to send His son to the cross for me. I don’t ever appreciate that enough.
“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
I keep thinking and meditating on Lamentations 3:21-33
"21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.
28 Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
29 Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
30 Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.
31 For the Lord will not cast off forever.
32 Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
33 For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men. "
Silence, among other things in this passage, stands out to me so much in this and I can’t explain it. But I know my lover is pulling my heart. Like a lover pulls back the one they love for another embrace as if they were about to go somewhere.
Be still, my love; be still, my heart.
I’m not going anywhere, God, I love you, but, I’m humbled by this, my Lord. I’m humbled by Your love. I don’t understand it. Where did it come from?
Instead of explaining it, can You just fill me with you? I need to be with You right now. I need Your presence, Your touch, Your love in my life. I need you. I can’t be without you.
If you’re coming, then I want to know You before you get here. I want to step into eternity with someone who romanced me.
God, romance me.
I feel it now, Lord. Yes, I feel it. I feel you stepping in. I feel Your love surrounding me. I feel the arms of Your love embracing me.
Loving me.
Holding me.
Keeping me.
I see the jealousy of Your heart for mine. I feel the warmth of the fire in Your eyes.
Love, consume me.
Love;
“You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life
You are the love I need
You are the air I breathe
You are my love my life always forever
I would lay down my life
Just to be by Your side
You are my love my life always forever
You are the grace that covers my sin
You’re everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life
Hallelujah”
Love,
You are everything.
You are all encompassing.
You are everything I need.
You are everything I want.
You are more than I asked for.
You are my love.
You are my life.
Always. Forever.
Thank You for silencing me tonight. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for romancing me.
Don't leave me when I rest tonight; lay with me. Comfort me, as only a love can.
I Love You, Lord. Thank You and good night. Its turning out to be one isn't it?
The Lord my God is tugging gently at my heart as one who is longing for attention. He's coming for me, He's coming for us, and it’s evident in the way the earth is groaning and yearning for His return. I think He wants my attention, but what is more truthful is that He deserves my attention.
Maybe this is true. Maybe I shouldn't be focusing so much of myself and focus giving myself to His perfect love. Maybe I should humble myself. Maybe I should be quiet, contrite, and lowly in spirit.
Maybe He's going to grace me with His presence.
I can’t seem to shake the phrase “Jesus is coming” from my head. There’s something there. I know it. I feel it my body. I feel in my spirit; it’s stirring inside of me: eagerly. Yet, with the same yearning I feel the need for quietness. I feel unworthy of such love. I feel humbled that He loves me. I am humbled that He would esteem me to enough to send His son to the cross for me. I don’t ever appreciate that enough.
“O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”
I keep thinking and meditating on Lamentations 3:21-33
"21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.
28 Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
29 Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
30 Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.
31 For the Lord will not cast off forever.
32 Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
33 For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men. "
Silence, among other things in this passage, stands out to me so much in this and I can’t explain it. But I know my lover is pulling my heart. Like a lover pulls back the one they love for another embrace as if they were about to go somewhere.
Be still, my love; be still, my heart.
I’m not going anywhere, God, I love you, but, I’m humbled by this, my Lord. I’m humbled by Your love. I don’t understand it. Where did it come from?
Instead of explaining it, can You just fill me with you? I need to be with You right now. I need Your presence, Your touch, Your love in my life. I need you. I can’t be without you.
If you’re coming, then I want to know You before you get here. I want to step into eternity with someone who romanced me.
God, romance me.
I feel it now, Lord. Yes, I feel it. I feel you stepping in. I feel Your love surrounding me. I feel the arms of Your love embracing me.
Loving me.
Holding me.
Keeping me.
I see the jealousy of Your heart for mine. I feel the warmth of the fire in Your eyes.
Love, consume me.
Love;
“You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life
You are the love I need
You are the air I breathe
You are my love my life always forever
I would lay down my life
Just to be by Your side
You are my love my life always forever
You are the grace that covers my sin
You’re everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life
Hallelujah”
Love,
You are everything.
You are all encompassing.
You are everything I need.
You are everything I want.
You are more than I asked for.
You are my love.
You are my life.
Always. Forever.
Thank You for silencing me tonight. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for romancing me.
Don't leave me when I rest tonight; lay with me. Comfort me, as only a love can.
I Love You, Lord. Thank You and good night. Its turning out to be one isn't it?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Dorian and the Hound of Heaven
I wrote this, inspired from the sermon of Ravi Zacharias on the profundity of the story of Dorian Gray. I wrote a blog on it as well, but this poem, although in dire need of editing, was extremely therapeutic.
"Dorian"
The last time I stared at this picture was when it was painted
You captured the beauty of my innocence
You told me I was beautiful
Somewhere along the line, sometime soon, I decided it was alright
to stray a little ways away
from where I was called to be
I was alright for the while until I found myself in the monster of a man I was becoming
I heard the horns growing
in the picture You painted
I appear perfect, without flaw, from the outside
but You came and saw right through me
You knew my heart was soiled and rotten, but still, Your love hounded me
I tried to fight, until, it became to much
There, on the floor of the attic where I kept that portrait, I fought You for Your hands
I plunged my knife into Your side while
Your blood and water poured out on the dusty floor
the life had gone from You
Your life didn't leave from me though
I heard Your wounds appear on my picture
and when I could not withstand it any longer I sought to kill the perfection You had created.
I gazed upon my picture and saw your blood run from my hands
I killed perfection.
I killed perfection.
I buried my head in the dust of the painting
but when I looked up, I caught I a glimpse of You
You were still there, all along, it was You
You, oh God, who hounded me.
And I was forgiven when you looked on me and loved me
The blood that once flowed from Your side then flowed into my veins
cleansing me
Forgive me God, if it took my sin, killing Your son, to realize I needed You.
Forgive me God, I didn't realize it was Your love that hounded me.
Your love healed the wounds on the canvas of my heart.
Your love saved me.
You saved me.
Dear God,
I love You. Thank you for loving a wreck like me.
-Josh
"Dorian"
The last time I stared at this picture was when it was painted
You captured the beauty of my innocence
You told me I was beautiful
Somewhere along the line, sometime soon, I decided it was alright
to stray a little ways away
from where I was called to be
I was alright for the while until I found myself in the monster of a man I was becoming
I heard the horns growing
in the picture You painted
I appear perfect, without flaw, from the outside
but You came and saw right through me
You knew my heart was soiled and rotten, but still, Your love hounded me
I tried to fight, until, it became to much
There, on the floor of the attic where I kept that portrait, I fought You for Your hands
I plunged my knife into Your side while
Your blood and water poured out on the dusty floor
the life had gone from You
Your life didn't leave from me though
I heard Your wounds appear on my picture
and when I could not withstand it any longer I sought to kill the perfection You had created.
I gazed upon my picture and saw your blood run from my hands
I killed perfection.
I killed perfection.
I buried my head in the dust of the painting
but when I looked up, I caught I a glimpse of You
You were still there, all along, it was You
You, oh God, who hounded me.
And I was forgiven when you looked on me and loved me
The blood that once flowed from Your side then flowed into my veins
cleansing me
Forgive me God, if it took my sin, killing Your son, to realize I needed You.
Forgive me God, I didn't realize it was Your love that hounded me.
Your love healed the wounds on the canvas of my heart.
Your love saved me.
You saved me.
Dear God,
I love You. Thank you for loving a wreck like me.
-Josh
Multi-Faceted
God's been busy in my life; thank goodness: I needed it.
I, for about the period of the last month hadn't really paid a whole lot of attention to Him. I strayed not too far away, but enough to where he had to remind me where I was heading. I like that. I like that my God cares enough about me to let me know when I'm going about things the wrong way. I like knowing He loves me and will take care of me.
I hate that I neglected God, but I'm so very appreciative of the fact that God is forgiving and faithful, even when I might not be. After I wandered into the wilderness of my neglect and sin, God led me into peace and joy. He showed me what I have to look forward to in Him: it's beautiful.
This month God has shown me what it is, (not completely), to be in a committed relationship. He showed me, (all over again it seems), that love, although the basis for a commitment, does not produce a strong commitment. In contrast, commitment, rooted in love for God, will produce the proper feelings and emotions.
This doesn't sound as complete an idea as it should, so let me explain. If I were in a relationship with a woman who I thought was attractive and felt an emotional connect with, and then tried by that logic to produce a commitment, it would not last (as often as we would like). This is because the basis on which the relationship was based was strictly on what they had felt previously, and not on what was to come. When things got hard, it would possibly be assumed that the relationship was bad; there is no accountability, no commitment founded on a basis of love and understanding that feelings and emotions are temporary. However, if I were to start a relationship with someone whom I had made a commitment to, in the understanding that a God glorifying relationship makes satan angry and in turn leads to trials which would be hard, it would last and/or be healthier because when the trials came, they'd be expected. Love and emotion would stem from the commitment because of the prayerful mindset and understanding of the couple.
This relationship applies to God, as well as other people. If I come into a relationship with God because I feel a spiritual peak, and have no intention or idea of what a commitment looks like with the creator, the relationship, debate-ably, would have little depth or strength. The pursuer of God would be discouraged by the lack of emotional highs in a testing relationship and might eventually leave the relationship. Much the same way a couple would break up if things got hard when all they ever thought was supposed to happen was good.
In addition to the example of romantic love, the same principle applies to ministry.
Numbers do not produce a love for God or a commitment worth mentioning; a commitment and burning love for the God of the universe, produces numbers. People are drawn to love. People are drawn to passion. This is why fraternities and sororities are so popular. There are so many people, especially my age, seeking the perfect love that only God can provide. This love of God is attractive to many people. If we want to see people come to God, we must first look at the need of the people, and provide for that need. If we want college age people to love God, WE have to love God first, and they'll be drawn to that love. We can't just start a youth group, invite people, and expect them to stick around. Nobody wants to be in a surface level relationship with anyone for very long. The same goes with a relationship with God.
These are just some of the things that God has laid on my heart. I hope they resonated with you :)
Love,
-Josh
I, for about the period of the last month hadn't really paid a whole lot of attention to Him. I strayed not too far away, but enough to where he had to remind me where I was heading. I like that. I like that my God cares enough about me to let me know when I'm going about things the wrong way. I like knowing He loves me and will take care of me.
I hate that I neglected God, but I'm so very appreciative of the fact that God is forgiving and faithful, even when I might not be. After I wandered into the wilderness of my neglect and sin, God led me into peace and joy. He showed me what I have to look forward to in Him: it's beautiful.
This month God has shown me what it is, (not completely), to be in a committed relationship. He showed me, (all over again it seems), that love, although the basis for a commitment, does not produce a strong commitment. In contrast, commitment, rooted in love for God, will produce the proper feelings and emotions.
This doesn't sound as complete an idea as it should, so let me explain. If I were in a relationship with a woman who I thought was attractive and felt an emotional connect with, and then tried by that logic to produce a commitment, it would not last (as often as we would like). This is because the basis on which the relationship was based was strictly on what they had felt previously, and not on what was to come. When things got hard, it would possibly be assumed that the relationship was bad; there is no accountability, no commitment founded on a basis of love and understanding that feelings and emotions are temporary. However, if I were to start a relationship with someone whom I had made a commitment to, in the understanding that a God glorifying relationship makes satan angry and in turn leads to trials which would be hard, it would last and/or be healthier because when the trials came, they'd be expected. Love and emotion would stem from the commitment because of the prayerful mindset and understanding of the couple.
This relationship applies to God, as well as other people. If I come into a relationship with God because I feel a spiritual peak, and have no intention or idea of what a commitment looks like with the creator, the relationship, debate-ably, would have little depth or strength. The pursuer of God would be discouraged by the lack of emotional highs in a testing relationship and might eventually leave the relationship. Much the same way a couple would break up if things got hard when all they ever thought was supposed to happen was good.
In addition to the example of romantic love, the same principle applies to ministry.
Numbers do not produce a love for God or a commitment worth mentioning; a commitment and burning love for the God of the universe, produces numbers. People are drawn to love. People are drawn to passion. This is why fraternities and sororities are so popular. There are so many people, especially my age, seeking the perfect love that only God can provide. This love of God is attractive to many people. If we want to see people come to God, we must first look at the need of the people, and provide for that need. If we want college age people to love God, WE have to love God first, and they'll be drawn to that love. We can't just start a youth group, invite people, and expect them to stick around. Nobody wants to be in a surface level relationship with anyone for very long. The same goes with a relationship with God.
These are just some of the things that God has laid on my heart. I hope they resonated with you :)
Love,
-Josh
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Discipline and Dorian Gray
Somehow, I keep coming to Proverbs 12:1, Hebrews 12:11, and Matthew 5:6.
Proverbs 12:
1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid.
Hebrews 12:
11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Matthew 5:
6 Blessed are those who hunger an thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
I hate discipline so much. Its annoying. Its frustrating. Its everything my flesh hates because it forces me to confront EVERYTHING I know I need to change about myself.
It is NOT peaceful at first; on the contrary, it is exhausting and confusing.
I feel like the character of Dorian Gray. I feel like I was painted by God, in His image: beautiful. He painted me enchantingly and when I look back on the things I've done and I do right now, its as if I look upon the painting God has made and those sins appear on the painting. I look at my marred, scarred, bruised, battered, and ugly face, and get frustrated and angry. I try to run from it. I try to make the painting go away. I hide it in my closet. I try to stab it with a knife but it only comes back to hurt me.
Then, God comes back. He looks at the painting and asks me what I've done. I tell Him. Then, instead of condemning me, He loves me. He takes His brush, dips it into the blood of His son, and repaints the picture.
After He's done, whats left is a picture of the person God intended me to be: perfect.
The scariest and most frustrating thing I think about the process of discipline is not that knowing that I need it; its the fact that I have to face my problems head on. Its a good thing to know, however, that I'm not going through it alone. I still have Christs' blood covering me and fixing me and empowering me.
Discipline is uncomfortable, yes, but I know that I'd rather be disciplined and grow in love for my God, than to flee from it and lead a debauched lifestyle full of idolatry.
Therefore, I will exalt God, even when I don't want to, because He is worthy of it. And, because my God loves me.
Thank You, God.
Proverbs 12:
1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but he who hates reproof is stupid.
Hebrews 12:
11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Matthew 5:
6 Blessed are those who hunger an thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
I hate discipline so much. Its annoying. Its frustrating. Its everything my flesh hates because it forces me to confront EVERYTHING I know I need to change about myself.
It is NOT peaceful at first; on the contrary, it is exhausting and confusing.
I feel like the character of Dorian Gray. I feel like I was painted by God, in His image: beautiful. He painted me enchantingly and when I look back on the things I've done and I do right now, its as if I look upon the painting God has made and those sins appear on the painting. I look at my marred, scarred, bruised, battered, and ugly face, and get frustrated and angry. I try to run from it. I try to make the painting go away. I hide it in my closet. I try to stab it with a knife but it only comes back to hurt me.
Then, God comes back. He looks at the painting and asks me what I've done. I tell Him. Then, instead of condemning me, He loves me. He takes His brush, dips it into the blood of His son, and repaints the picture.
After He's done, whats left is a picture of the person God intended me to be: perfect.
The scariest and most frustrating thing I think about the process of discipline is not that knowing that I need it; its the fact that I have to face my problems head on. Its a good thing to know, however, that I'm not going through it alone. I still have Christs' blood covering me and fixing me and empowering me.
Discipline is uncomfortable, yes, but I know that I'd rather be disciplined and grow in love for my God, than to flee from it and lead a debauched lifestyle full of idolatry.
Therefore, I will exalt God, even when I don't want to, because He is worthy of it. And, because my God loves me.
Thank You, God.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Only thing Worse than Nostalgia is Amnesia
"The Only Thing Worse than Nostalgia is Amnesia."
I feel this quote is appropriate for the revelation found from the word of God in my life lately.
Lately, I've been struggling to trust God. I've been incredibly frustrated with Him. I thought, and at times still do believe, I knew what was best in my life. I thought I knew what my priorities were.
The Israelite's spent 40 years in the desert as a consequence of their forgetfulness of Gods blessing in their lives and to humble them.
God tested them for 40 years to see if they remained faithful.
Deuteronomy chapter 8:2-5 states this:
2 And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. 3 So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your garments did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years. 5 You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the LORD your God chastens you.
With this in mind, lets look at part of the story of the paralytic in Mark, chapter 2:5-12
5 When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven you.”
6 And some of the scribes were sitting there and reasoning in their hearts, 7 “Why does this Man speak blasphemies like this? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
8 Immediately, when Jesus perceived in His spirit that they reasoned thus within themselves, He said to them, “Why do you reason about these things in your hearts? 9 Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Arise, take up your bed and walk’? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins”—He said to the paralytic, 11 “I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.” 12 Immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went out in the presence of them all, so that all were amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”
There is a connection between the two although, at first, there may not seem like one.
I am going to be as bold as to say that God had to humble Israel so they would know their priority. First Spirit. First God. First His Kingdom, THEN all things will be added.
It is spoken from Christ in reference to Deuteronomy that "He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD".
We see this concept again in the story in Mark.
Jesus, when faced with the paralytic, did not immediately heal his imperfect, fleshly, body; instead, He first forgave the paralytics sin. Then, He proceeded to heal him.
This is a recurring theme and the main point I'm driving at: When we first seek in spirit, and are humbled by God, He is allowed to provide for us.
When we allow God to fix us in spirit by our seeking FIRST His kingdom, all other things will be added as a result.
The process of Israel being humbled in the desert while God provided for them also allowed for an appreciation for Gods faithfulness and provision. They sought Him, first, and their kingdom was added.
Dear God,
-I'm sorry that I've been so frustrated with you lately. You've been trying to discipline me, and discipline is a word I hate. So. Very. Much. But God, You are faithful. You humble me, You provide for me in Your divine time and in the right way. You are perfect. You are sovereign and I love You for that.
Forgive me, God, if I have to wander in the desert of humility for 40 years longer than the Israelites. I pray that You keep my feet from swelling. I pray that You keep my hope in You. I pray that You sustain me.
Fix my spirit, God. Fix my spirit, give me the motivation and vision to seek, first, Your kingdom. Give me the hope and confidence to believe that You will add all things after this according to Your perfect will.
I love You, Lord.
In Jesus' Loving and Compassionate name, Amen.
-Josh
I feel this quote is appropriate for the revelation found from the word of God in my life lately.
Lately, I've been struggling to trust God. I've been incredibly frustrated with Him. I thought, and at times still do believe, I knew what was best in my life. I thought I knew what my priorities were.
The Israelite's spent 40 years in the desert as a consequence of their forgetfulness of Gods blessing in their lives and to humble them.
God tested them for 40 years to see if they remained faithful.
Deuteronomy chapter 8:2-5 states this:
2 And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. 3 So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. 4 Your garments did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years. 5 You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the LORD your God chastens you.
With this in mind, lets look at part of the story of the paralytic in Mark, chapter 2:5-12
5 When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven you.”
6 And some of the scribes were sitting there and reasoning in their hearts, 7 “Why does this Man speak blasphemies like this? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
8 Immediately, when Jesus perceived in His spirit that they reasoned thus within themselves, He said to them, “Why do you reason about these things in your hearts? 9 Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Arise, take up your bed and walk’? 10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has power on earth to forgive sins”—He said to the paralytic, 11 “I say to you, arise, take up your bed, and go to your house.” 12 Immediately he arose, took up the bed, and went out in the presence of them all, so that all were amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”
There is a connection between the two although, at first, there may not seem like one.
I am going to be as bold as to say that God had to humble Israel so they would know their priority. First Spirit. First God. First His Kingdom, THEN all things will be added.
It is spoken from Christ in reference to Deuteronomy that "He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD".
We see this concept again in the story in Mark.
Jesus, when faced with the paralytic, did not immediately heal his imperfect, fleshly, body; instead, He first forgave the paralytics sin. Then, He proceeded to heal him.
This is a recurring theme and the main point I'm driving at: When we first seek in spirit, and are humbled by God, He is allowed to provide for us.
When we allow God to fix us in spirit by our seeking FIRST His kingdom, all other things will be added as a result.
The process of Israel being humbled in the desert while God provided for them also allowed for an appreciation for Gods faithfulness and provision. They sought Him, first, and their kingdom was added.
Dear God,
-I'm sorry that I've been so frustrated with you lately. You've been trying to discipline me, and discipline is a word I hate. So. Very. Much. But God, You are faithful. You humble me, You provide for me in Your divine time and in the right way. You are perfect. You are sovereign and I love You for that.
Forgive me, God, if I have to wander in the desert of humility for 40 years longer than the Israelites. I pray that You keep my feet from swelling. I pray that You keep my hope in You. I pray that You sustain me.
Fix my spirit, God. Fix my spirit, give me the motivation and vision to seek, first, Your kingdom. Give me the hope and confidence to believe that You will add all things after this according to Your perfect will.
I love You, Lord.
In Jesus' Loving and Compassionate name, Amen.
-Josh
Ours is not a god of Confusion
Today, I realized that all good and perfect things come from God; our God is not a god of confusion, but of love, insight, and truth. Truth isn't confusing, its merely informative. We can choose to ignore it or abide by it. There are consequences for these actions.
Satan confuses people. He hates it when we love God. He hates it when we choose truth; he tries to find ways to confuse us, finds ways to get us sidetracked, frustrated, or guilty. Satan tries to find ways to make us forget who we are and what we're made for.
I know now today that when I'm following God, I should be flattered when I'm being attacked by satan; it means I'm a threat to the kingdom of evil.
I love the idea that I'm being attacked now for a good reason; now I can ask God to help me fight, to strengthen me, and to give me grace to fight.
God,
Increase my faith. Help me to love. Use me to bring You glory. Help me become a better image of You.
I love you, Lord.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Love,
-Josh
Satan confuses people. He hates it when we love God. He hates it when we choose truth; he tries to find ways to confuse us, finds ways to get us sidetracked, frustrated, or guilty. Satan tries to find ways to make us forget who we are and what we're made for.
I know now today that when I'm following God, I should be flattered when I'm being attacked by satan; it means I'm a threat to the kingdom of evil.
I love the idea that I'm being attacked now for a good reason; now I can ask God to help me fight, to strengthen me, and to give me grace to fight.
God,
Increase my faith. Help me to love. Use me to bring You glory. Help me become a better image of You.
I love you, Lord.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Love,
-Josh
Lord, Increase our Faith
I have found lately that the more I trust God with things, I try to find something else to hold on to; I hate doing that. I move from worry about one issue to worry in another.
I forget who said it, but I like the idea of "loosening my grip on things so it doesn't hurt when God pulls it out of my hands"; its something I need to do.
Today when I was praying, I looked to the mountains, and God was in the mountains. I loved everything about it. I prayed with God looking majestically at me. It seemed easy to put my worry in the hands of someone bigger than those beautiful purple mountains. God comforted me and told me that as long as I followed Him, things would work out for the best. I believe Him.
I may not like His process, but I love the end result of His work.
God, I give everything to You. I don't want to hold on to pieces of my life, but instead, have you mold my life BACK into what I was created to be. Your child. I like being a child of Yours. I want to obey You. I want to love You. I want to love what You love, hate what You hate. Align my heart with Yours. Increase my faith. Help me to not worry and to be confident in You. Strengthen my relationships and give me the grace necessary to live an extraordinary and holy life. Deliver me from evil. I trust you can do these things, God.
I love you,
in Jesus' name, Amen.
Love,
-Josh
I forget who said it, but I like the idea of "loosening my grip on things so it doesn't hurt when God pulls it out of my hands"; its something I need to do.
Today when I was praying, I looked to the mountains, and God was in the mountains. I loved everything about it. I prayed with God looking majestically at me. It seemed easy to put my worry in the hands of someone bigger than those beautiful purple mountains. God comforted me and told me that as long as I followed Him, things would work out for the best. I believe Him.
I may not like His process, but I love the end result of His work.
God, I give everything to You. I don't want to hold on to pieces of my life, but instead, have you mold my life BACK into what I was created to be. Your child. I like being a child of Yours. I want to obey You. I want to love You. I want to love what You love, hate what You hate. Align my heart with Yours. Increase my faith. Help me to not worry and to be confident in You. Strengthen my relationships and give me the grace necessary to live an extraordinary and holy life. Deliver me from evil. I trust you can do these things, God.
I love you,
in Jesus' name, Amen.
Love,
-Josh
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I used to hear with my eyes and think with my feelings.
I wrote this in remembrance and appreciation of what my Savior brought me out of.
I sincerely hope this impacts someone :)
Love,
-Josh
*I used to hear with my eyes and think with my feelings, then I met Him. *
I thought I loved you satan when I thought I knew what love was.
There I moved about freely on my hands and knees,
I used to listen with my eyes.
I would think with my feelings.
Then I found Him.
You used to smell sweet, and the taste, sweeter still.
Somehow you convinced me life was what I made it.
We are what we do, you are who you choose to be.
Those are just lies.
You are just a lie.
I used to strangle myself with arms so wide, so wide I barely knew them.
He untangled me and showed me my autonomy was: false freedom;
and romanced me with freedom and grace.
His love is great. I know what love is.
He tells me I am His. He tells me He is mine.
How, my love, are they still so far gone.
Those who reject the light.
They've decapitated themselves from you.
They still love their imperfection, with what they think is love.
They've grown accustomed to-
to listening with blind eyes and thinking with dead feelings.
Look, Love, they've either gone blind or eyes are just getting used to the dark.
I thought you used to look good, satan, it was just how you looked in the light,
or the lack of it.
I've grown accustomed to the love I've found in the light.
The shadows fail in the sunshine, I want to dwell in light of His love.
I sincerely hope this impacts someone :)
Love,
-Josh
*I used to hear with my eyes and think with my feelings, then I met Him. *
I thought I loved you satan when I thought I knew what love was.
There I moved about freely on my hands and knees,
I used to listen with my eyes.
I would think with my feelings.
Then I found Him.
You used to smell sweet, and the taste, sweeter still.
Somehow you convinced me life was what I made it.
We are what we do, you are who you choose to be.
Those are just lies.
You are just a lie.
I used to strangle myself with arms so wide, so wide I barely knew them.
He untangled me and showed me my autonomy was: false freedom;
and romanced me with freedom and grace.
His love is great. I know what love is.
He tells me I am His. He tells me He is mine.
How, my love, are they still so far gone.
Those who reject the light.
They've decapitated themselves from you.
They still love their imperfection, with what they think is love.
They've grown accustomed to-
to listening with blind eyes and thinking with dead feelings.
Look, Love, they've either gone blind or eyes are just getting used to the dark.
I thought you used to look good, satan, it was just how you looked in the light,
or the lack of it.
I've grown accustomed to the love I've found in the light.
The shadows fail in the sunshine, I want to dwell in light of His love.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Laver Lav
Today at the Goetz family house there was a bible study. We talked about the Tabernacle of God and how it should be represented in our lives and how we should model our lives around it.
It was beautiful.
Below is a diagram of the tabernacle so you can follow along with the thought process.
http://ojgraham.com/images/Tabernacle.jpg
This is what we discussed: Two major things are in the outer courts. The Brazen Alter and the Laver.
The Brazen Alter represents The Cross on which Jesus was crucified. He died for all of our sins, representing the bloody sacrifice necessary for the atonement of our sin. There, we can give God our junk. Crucify ourselves, daily, and follow Him.
This brings us to the Laver. The Laver is the basin in which we cleanse ourselves from the junk of this world. Since we are not slaves to sin anymore, we are in Christ, and Christ is in us. All we must do is go to the Laver, wash off the remnants of the evil of this world before we can pass into the Holy Place.
I'm not going into great depth with any of this, but the Laver is especially significant to me.
Ravi Zacharias once stated that to try to describe purity from a secular sense would be the same as trying to explain nothingness. Purity for most means the absence of something. People who don't think certain things, say somethings, or don't partake in certain acts. This isn't all of it though. Christianity, more importantly, what Christ did, was die so that His blood could wash the sin off of us. Therefore, its not the merely the absence of sin, its the PRESENCE of something greater. Gods blood. The Laver is the cleansing presence of Gods forgiveness and grace, and the absence of evil in the midst of a perfect God.
Summing up the outer court: The Sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross is the Brazen Alter, this is the payment for our sins. The Laver is the cleansing PRESENCE of Gods forgiveness and grace and the ABSENCE of evil in the midst of a perfect God.
This leads us into the Holy Place.
There are three main points in the Holy Place: Table of the Shewbread, The Golden Lampstand, and the Golden Alter of Incense.
I don't know too much on the Shewbread and the Lampstand at the moment but I'll be speaking on the Golden Alter of Incense because its DIRECTLY related to the Outer Courts and what I'm going to be getting at.
When we are cleansed, walking in right standing with God, walking in righteousness, we can then begin to have intimacy with Christ, the Great High Priest who's name is Love, who pleads for us before the throne of God. THIS IS SO GOOD!
When we are clean, we can offer our prayers on the incense table, laying down our offerings which smell good to Him now, in the ultimate form of worship. This is intimacy with God as well.
People always wonder why they can't worship God all the time, they ask why they don't feel close. They feel dead. Its because of this: THEY ARE GOING ABOUT IT IN THE WRONG ORDER.
We cannot worship in spirit and truth if we're dirty in the presence of God. We must crucify ourselves, give up our idols, wash ourselves of our sin and the crap in the world, humble ourselves before Jesus Christ, who is PLEADING with God on our behalf, while we also pray to move Gods heart. That is the ultimate form of worship. Praying along side with our Great High Priest BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD offering ourselves, living sacrifices, sweet smelling to our maker.
This is beautiful. The fact that Jesus is pleading our cases to God the Father.
When we crucify ourselves, give up ourselves and our problems, wash ourselves and go into the presence of God in purity, and are next to our advocate Jesus Christ, how can we NOT worship.
This is worship. I hope this made sense, I'm stoked on this tho. I need to pray about this a lot more, but this blew my mind. SO I will leave you with this.
Our lives should be modeled on the Tabernacle.
Die to self. Wash. Walk in purity. Humble yourself. Offer yourself a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to the Lord. Worship with Jesus Christ who pleads for us in spirit and truth before the Throne of God.
Thought you would like to know this :)
Love,
-Josh
It was beautiful.
Below is a diagram of the tabernacle so you can follow along with the thought process.
http://ojgraham.com/images
This is what we discussed: Two major things are in the outer courts. The Brazen Alter and the Laver.
The Brazen Alter represents The Cross on which Jesus was crucified. He died for all of our sins, representing the bloody sacrifice necessary for the atonement of our sin. There, we can give God our junk. Crucify ourselves, daily, and follow Him.
This brings us to the Laver. The Laver is the basin in which we cleanse ourselves from the junk of this world. Since we are not slaves to sin anymore, we are in Christ, and Christ is in us. All we must do is go to the Laver, wash off the remnants of the evil of this world before we can pass into the Holy Place.
I'm not going into great depth with any of this, but the Laver is especially significant to me.
Ravi Zacharias once stated that to try to describe purity from a secular sense would be the same as trying to explain nothingness. Purity for most means the absence of something. People who don't think certain things, say somethings, or don't partake in certain acts. This isn't all of it though. Christianity, more importantly, what Christ did, was die so that His blood could wash the sin off of us. Therefore, its not the merely the absence of sin, its the PRESENCE of something greater. Gods blood. The Laver is the cleansing presence of Gods forgiveness and grace, and the absence of evil in the midst of a perfect God.
Summing up the outer court: The Sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross is the Brazen Alter, this is the payment for our sins. The Laver is the cleansing PRESENCE of Gods forgiveness and grace and the ABSENCE of evil in the midst of a perfect God.
This leads us into the Holy Place.
There are three main points in the Holy Place: Table of the Shewbread, The Golden Lampstand, and the Golden Alter of Incense.
I don't know too much on the Shewbread and the Lampstand at the moment but I'll be speaking on the Golden Alter of Incense because its DIRECTLY related to the Outer Courts and what I'm going to be getting at.
When we are cleansed, walking in right standing with God, walking in righteousness, we can then begin to have intimacy with Christ, the Great High Priest who's name is Love, who pleads for us before the throne of God. THIS IS SO GOOD!
When we are clean, we can offer our prayers on the incense table, laying down our offerings which smell good to Him now, in the ultimate form of worship. This is intimacy with God as well.
People always wonder why they can't worship God all the time, they ask why they don't feel close. They feel dead. Its because of this: THEY ARE GOING ABOUT IT IN THE WRONG ORDER.
We cannot worship in spirit and truth if we're dirty in the presence of God. We must crucify ourselves, give up our idols, wash ourselves of our sin and the crap in the world, humble ourselves before Jesus Christ, who is PLEADING with God on our behalf, while we also pray to move Gods heart. That is the ultimate form of worship. Praying along side with our Great High Priest BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD offering ourselves, living sacrifices, sweet smelling to our maker.
This is beautiful. The fact that Jesus is pleading our cases to God the Father.
When we crucify ourselves, give up ourselves and our problems, wash ourselves and go into the presence of God in purity, and are next to our advocate Jesus Christ, how can we NOT worship.
This is worship. I hope this made sense, I'm stoked on this tho. I need to pray about this a lot more, but this blew my mind. SO I will leave you with this.
Our lives should be modeled on the Tabernacle.
Die to self. Wash. Walk in purity. Humble yourself. Offer yourself a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to the Lord. Worship with Jesus Christ who pleads for us in spirit and truth before the Throne of God.
Thought you would like to know this :)
Love,
-Josh
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