Honesty

Sometimes, I wonder if other people feel the way I feel, think the way I think, or act the way I do. I wonder if people are as insecure as I am, or as rotten in the heart as I am, at times.I wonder what it would be like if everyone looked like they felt.

If I looked like I felt, this week, I would look weird; I would probably look like a homeless person.

I imagine homeless people feel lonely. I think they would feel humbled by their shortcomings and the situation they currently find themselves. I feel humbled by the situation I find myself. Its funny how you can have an idea of who you are and start to find comfort in the shade of the identity you've built for yourself. The thing is, however, that if we build our own identity, it will fall apart eventually. You see, we are imperfect; imperfect things cannot build perfect things. In the same way an imperfect gene of a flower will affect its offspring, the same happens with us. We are imperfect, attempting to build ourselves a perfect image and identity, only to find out later that it was wrong from the start and there was nothing we could do about it. There was not a single car we could have owned, a single relationship we could have forced, a dollar amount that we could have earned that would ever solidify our identity in a perfect manner.

Sometimes I wonder why God sent His son to die for us.

You see, God is perfect. He was perfect in and of Himself. He was secure in His own perfect identity in constant communion with the Holy Spirit and His son. He didn't need to create, but out of His love, He created us: man and woman. The weird thing is, He created us in full knowledge that we would fall. He created us knowing He would have to save us somehow. We were a damsel in distress. He was our hero. But the thing is, it wasn't even just Him that saved us: it was His son. I know that I would give my life for almost anyone, but I don't even know what it would be like to give up my child. I always knew that God loved me, but its different when you thin that He loved me and esteemed me greater than Him. Not only that, but He esteemed me greater than His son.

Sometimes when I feel like a homeless person, it helps to think about how much I'm loved. It makes me feel like I have a hero out there, who loves and watches out for me when I'm sad and lonely. He's there for me to comfort me and protect me. I think that's beautiful. Hopefully, one day, I'll be able to love that way. I want that kind of love.

I think people do feel the way that I feel sometimes, because if they didn't they wouldn't feel the need to be loved by others. That's okay though, because, when we love each other, its really just God loving us through that person.

All good and perfect things come from above, right? I guess that means that hugs, kisses, high fives, fist bumps, smiles, laughs, compliments, truth, and love are all from God too. I'm alright with that. I think that's a perfect foundation to build on. Even though I'm not perfect, my Hero is perfect. He made me perfect because He painted me perfect with His sons blood. I was the rotten painting and He fixed me. He rebuilt me and that is the point.

When we build our identity, its false, its a fake. Its phony.
When God builds our identity, He takes His sons blood, paints over our imperfections, and makes us perfect in Him. That is our identity. Our identity in God is perfect. He looks at us with perfect eyes and thinks we are the most beautiful thing in the world. We are His portion. We look like Christmas morning.

Its good to know that whenever I feel like a bum, God loves me, and thinks I'm the best. I think I'm alright with that.